[kokopelli]

Hi, I just went through rush a few days ago and I'm already not feeling too good about my sorority...
I'll admit that it wasn't my first choice and I was really disappointed not to get a bid from my first. But I went to Bid Day for my #2, and I had fun. There were moments where I thought "okay, I can see myself fitting in here" and moments where I thought "what have I done?" I'm a junior - I rushed on a whim (it's common to have upperclassmen rush at my school - probably at least 1/3 of the girls going through recruitment are not freshmen), and I don't really think it's plausible for me to rush next year.
It's only been a few days, but I'm already running into problems. I didn't know a whole lot about Greek life here before, but now everyone who isn't in my sorority is telling me that they're known around campus for being the alcoholics and have gotten arrested at campus events before. I know I shouldn't let rumors influence my decision, but it's hard to ignore that kind of reputation, you know?
I'm extremely committed to my church, and lead youth groups on Sunday and teach classes on Monday. The problem here is that the mandatory meetings are held at the exact same time as both of those. I really can't and don't want to quit my church...should I talk to my President or someone about this? Honestly, if it came down to it, I would not choose my sorority over my church.
And overall....I just don't know if I'm really the right person for Greek life. I don't know if I'm the kind of person who would be good at being a sister. I keep asking myself, would I be having these thoughts if I had gotten into my first choice? Maybe it's really just that I'm still upset about not getting a bid and I'm letting that cloud my judgment. My house has struggled with numbers for I guess a long time, so I would hate to disappoint them, but...I don't know what I've gotten myself into here, and I'm not sure if this is for me.
What should I do? Like I said, my chapter struggles with numbers (they lost their house last year, which obviously didn't help at recruitment) so I'm afraid if I bring up my concerns to anyone, they'll just try to sugarcoat everything or panic because they don't want to lose anyone.