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Originally posted by PnguinTrax:
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That being said, the Rho Chi cannot and should not bully you into writing down more groups that you feel comfortable with.
Indeed, my Rho Chi *DID* bully me into writing down a group that I was not comfortable with. I wished that I would have launched a complaint with Panhel after the fact, but I was so ignorant of how Rush worked. I wished I could have had this board as a resource...how much more capably I would have been to handle this situation.
If indeed only 2 of the 3 groups you preffed were attractive to you, you should only have put down those two. Looking back, how I wish I would have been brave and not permitted myself to be pressured and bullied.
I should have never put down a group on my Bid Card that I didn't want.
I don't know why you weren't allowed to decline a preference event invitation, that is somewhat unusual and goes against the system of mutual selection. I kept my Rush Documentation. We were NOT permitted to drop *ANY* parties. We had to attend all parties where we were invited. If I could have dropped that group, then they would not have been misled (by Panhell, not me) into thinking that I wanted them.
Until I discovered this board, I had no idea that on other campuses, Rushees can drop groups that don't interest them. I sure wish that had been the case on my campus.
I accepted a bid from my #3 choice and have never regretted the decision I made almost 20 year ago. I've enjoyed long-term friendships and sisterhood and served my fraternity in many offices and capacities. It is one thing to get your 3rd choice. It is another thing entirely to get a bid from a sorority you never wanted in the first place, but weren't permitted to drop them.
What most potential members never think about is the fact that the chapter that offered them a bid already considers them a sister. Understandably, the chapter must have thought that, since I wasn't allowed to drop them. For me to continue with Rush, it was mandatory that I attend ALL parties. I should never have been at their final party. But I HAD to be there...as dictated by the local Panhellenic's Rules.