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Bid Day
Tick.
The clock’s hands inched forward.
It was time.
Well, almost.
Almost being that it was currently 6:43am and bid day events started at 2pm. That was close enough, thought saxywalrus. Maybe she should get there early. After all, a true hero is always punctual. Besides, saxywalrus reasoned, it sucked being trapped in the Fortress of Solitude with only her thoughts to comfort her. Because her thoughts weren’t comforting at all.
She suspected that this might be the product of a sinister alliance between The Scarecrow and Mr. Mxyzptlk. Mr. Mxyzptlk, she decided, had returned from the Fifth Dimension and used his powers to slow time to frustrate saxywalrus, while The Scarecrow used his terrible toxins to instill a sense of fear in her and cause her to repeatedly visualize her fears about how bid day would turn out. It was obvious that this all was just a ploy to stop saxywalrus from becoming the superheroine she was destined to be and make her unable to save the universe from utter destruction at the hands of evil.
Although she suspected this plot, she was unable to fight it. However, there was a slight glimmer of hope in the fact that her RG, the Girl Wonder, had told her that PNMs would hear from the RGs by 11am if they had not received a bid. This would come in the form of a phone call would be accompanied by a personal visit.
Tick.
6:44.
This was going to be a long few hours.
Time passed.
It was 8:56. Saxywalrus had spent the past few hours staring at the clock and attempting to develop the power of being able to influence the space-time continuum through using telekinesis on the clock when suddenly a knock on her door shook her out of her intense concentration.
Nervously, she crept to the door to reveal…
Her friend Lois Lane.
Saxywalrus breathed a temporary sigh of relief.
“Saxy”, uttered Lois in a strained tone, “I can’t sleep. I’m going crazy. Is it okay if I come hang out with you and your roommate, Robin for awhile?”
Naturally, saxywalrus agreed that this would be okay.
Inevitably, the conversation turned to how pref had gone. It turned out that Lois had suicided for Wonder Woman because she did not like how pref at Aquaman had gone, while Robin had only been invited back to Flash.
The three sat together, waiting for the dreaded 11am to come. They hardly spoke and an air of moroseness filled the tiny room.
Tick.
11am came and went and the three breathed a sigh of relief. Saxywalrus now knew that she had received a bid to somewhere. She was going to become a superheroine today. The only question that remained was which superhero she was going to become, and she truly had no idea.
Tick.
Eventually, it was almost 2pm. It was clear that The Justice League had managed to send The Scarecrow and Mr. Mxyzptlk back to Arkham Asylum and the 5th dimension respectively. Finally, the RGs and the leaders of the Justice League would be roped under the Lasso of Truth and forced to finally reveal the real identity of Saxywalrus. She got ready and joined Lois, who was wearing an outfit in the colors of Wonder Woman, and Robin, who was wearing a Flash colored sweatshirt. The three headed for the Hall of Justice together, with Saxywalrus knowing that soon, she too would be sporting an outfit in one of these colors.
They arrived at the Hall, where they were forced like any great hero to endure painstaking trials that tested their very souls. In other words, they received their bid when they walked in the door but weren’t allowed to open it for a really long time and had to do silly things like stand on top of it and worse, abandon it for two minutes while a group picture of all the rushees was taken. True tests of will.
Finally, the Greek advisor gave the signal. Naturally, all hell broke loose as the room was filled with the sounds of ripping envelopes and screaming girls.
Lois and Robin stood on either side of saxywalrus.
“Well?”
Saxywalrus slowly tore open the envelope, which revealed that her new superheroine identity was…
Wonder Woman.
Great Caesar’s Ghost! After the bad jokes, the strangely placed pop culture references, and even the winking, she had been destined to be a Wonder Woman. She was awkward, she was slightly nerdy, and she had the tendency to ramble on a lot, but Wonder Woman loved her anyways. Saxywalrus was so shocked that things had turned out this well that she had to read the bid three or four times to make sure that this wasn’t Bizarro World and that this was really happening.
Then she remembered that she was supposed to be screaming and hugging Lois. Which she did. Then she screamed some more hugged all of the other girls in the Wonder Woman group, and together they took off flying across the campus to meet their new sisters in…
KAPPA DELTA. The women of KD are truly wonder-women to saxywalrus and her first semester as a KD has been, in every sense of the word, super.
THE END.
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