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To answer your first question, yet it is mutual.
You ranked your sororities first, second and third.
The sororities ranked those attending their pref parties in a similar type manner. How they arrived at their rankings is confidential.
Anyway, there were two chapters that you liked more than the other one. Unfortunately, those two chapters appear to have ranked other PNMs higher than you, as you were too low on their bid lists to receive a bid. They filled quota before getting to your name. It has nothing to do with attending that third party, and on some campuses you would be removed from recruitment for skipping a party. (not to mention this is R-U-D-E!)
Both you and the chapters had a say in the rankings, thus the mutual selection.
I am sorry that it did not work out the way that you wanted. However, that third house did see something that they liked in you, so they may be feeling just as rejected as you are.
We don't always get our first choices in life.
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