[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Like it or not, earning a reputation as the sorority that doesn't do social stuff hurts your recruitment, hurts participation in your philanthropy, and can harm your sisterhood (as we see here with the OP describing a divide by class).

I don't dispute this. But that wasn't what I was talking about. This is what I have an issue with:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Just think about this the next time rush comes around and don't pledge a bunch of bumps on logs.

I would also have your social chair and programming VP (or whatever she's called) contact your HQ. If this is your first year, more than likely your HQ had a part in selecting the current members of your chapter. Let them know they have selected some members who are missing a very important component of being a well rounded young woman.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

...I'd tell the girls to suck it up. When you pledged your sorority, you also joined a Greek System, and that means obligation to the whole campus. Again, suck it up. And if this colony or new chapter pledged a group of gals who have no interest in the social aspect of Greek life (which I find very perplexing) I think they may need to do some quick-fire adjustments to their MS.

Originally Posted by 33girl

These girls joined a Greek SYSTEM. Suck it up and do what is expected. If you can't do that, either have some really amazing input to change it or drop out.

Like I said, I don't get why a member is "obligated" or "expected" to "suck it up" and go to socials with fraternities if she's uncomfortable with that or doesn't enjoy it. And deciding that anyone for whom this isn't a good time is a "bump on a log" or shouldn't have been given a bid is pretty narrow-minded, in my opinion. A sorority is about building friendships with your sisters and working to better your community through service. There are many, many ways to contribute to this mission that don't involve mixers and date exchanges. I made a pledge to Kappa, not a "system" or "the whole campus", and that pledge definitely didn't include the requirement that I go out and party to make my group look good to other Greeks. If that attitude was the one my chapter sisters had I wouldn't have gone Greek.

Moving on.

Originally Posted by AXOmom

Littleowl33 - I have a curiosity question that I am asking in all seriousness because the only thing I know about sororities and greek life is what my daughter tells me about how things work at the schools she's been at, and what I read on this forum, so I'm interested in how things work in different places.

You mentioned that you joined a sorority to meet friends - male and female which I think is true for most college kids (certainly was for mine) and I understand how a sorority would logically help you meet female friends. How did you think it was going to help you make male friends when you decided to rush and how did it, in fact, help you make male friends?

I guess what I'm asking is since you mentioned you didn't really care for the party/mixer/date dash/exchanges type of things what events or activities did you think a sorority was going to have or what events and activities did it have that helped you make male friends? I think that info might be helpful for the OP.

Actually, I never missed a single Kappa date party or formal in undergrad, including those structured as date dashes or exchanges. What I did skip was some of the mixers, especially later in my college career since as I mentioned, they mostly consisted of hanging out in row house basements drinking Natty Boh, which gets old quickly. I would say I personally attended at least 90% of the social events organized by my sorority as an undergrad because:

- A big portion of my dues were going towards them, and why waste money?
- I thought they were fun.
- I do think it's important to get out there and mingle with other Greeks, both for your own personal benefit and for your group's benefit.

However, this is MY opinion. What I don't agree with is having this imposed on every member of the chapter or devaluing sisters who don't enjoy going out. There is a lot more than you can offer your chapter besides your ability to go out and charm fraternity men.

So, back to your original question - I met a pretty diverse group of people as a sorority member just because of the volume of new people you meet as a Greek. My campus has deferred recruitment, and in the first semester of my freshman year I had a group of about 10-15 friends that I spent time with regularly. Very few people at my college knew each other from high school, so at first, everyone mostly ended up hanging out with people they knew from their dorm. After the first week or two your group of friends was fairly set (at least for freshman year).

After pledging, there were immediately 45+ more women I spent time with on a regular basis, who had many more connections on campus and could introduce me to their friends and help me meet new people (these days the chapter has grown to 100+ women, so the result is even more dramatic). I met Greek and non-Greek male friends at the aforementioned social events, but mostly through just hanging out or going to small private parties with older sisters. I ended up meeting my SO at my first-ever mixer, which happened to be with his fraternity, and as a result a fairly large percentage of my male college friends were from that house. Going Greek immediately opened me up to a much, much wider realm of experiences and new people than I would have had otherwise.

Does that help?