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I just want to say that I think it is really great that all of you are giving her responses on how to continue to try to be apart of her sorority like she wishes to be. It's really encouraging for me, especially, because I'm a sophomore in college and I'm still in her situation.
When I was a freshman in college, I went to LaTech University and was initiated in a wonderful Kappa Delta chapter there, and we had a small pledge class that seemed to all be die-hard friends except for one person: me. I was so discouraged by the fact that everyone went up to everyone else and talked to them like they had known them for a million years except me. I tried going up to them and imitating the behavior I saw them do, cause it obviously worked for them with our pledge class up to the elder members of our chapter- but it didn't work for me. I could tell they were disinterested in whatever I had to say to them the minute I started walking up to them/speaking. And so I just decided to stick to my artwork and the Wesley foundation towards the end of the year because I did make friends there, and my big sis who wasn't very involved with my chapter either was also in Wesley, and so we got to be better friends, but not GREAT friends like I really hoped... because I love and respect her so much. I still do.
In any case, when I was at LaTech I roomed with my best friend (who is very anti-Greek thanks to her parents), since the age of 6, in the dorm but she went to my hometown (which used to be her hometown til she moved a few years before high school) to see her new boyfriend who I introduced her to. I was really happy for her but discouraged she didn't want to spend more time with me. In any case, I held my chin up and said, "that's ok. this just motivates me to spend more time with the KD's!" so I went around as often as I could and then when I got discouraged I gradually slowed down except I went to every meeting and a couple of parties, and I went home almost every weekend because I hated the tiny town in which my college/unhappiness was.
Well... now I am in Baton Rouge. I am 4 hours away from my hometown and I have been home (excluding now) a total of 3 times over the entire fall semester. I am in love with Baton Rouge and in love with LSU. I live 5 minutes away from campus with 2 roommates, a graduate student, and a senior KD, which was arranged completely by God by a miracle of an experience in summer of 08. Anyway, my room mate who is a senior KD, or H.G., as we will call her, told me this summer she would take me under her wing and show me the ropes. I'm really thankful for how nice she has been to me, but I would hardly describe her actions as "taking me under her wing". Again, I am extremely thankful for what she has done for me, which is let me follow her to the first meeting to let me see where everything was, and then show me around the 1st floor of the house and introduce me to her best friend "M.B.", also a senior KD who is very nice and fun. I guess I just thought that we would go to lunch or make dinner at the house and talk about life occasionally, but she is usually always sleeping at her boyfriend's house (they are very serious), and my other room mate is never home either. So, most of the time, I am home alone.
Also, there are many factors that play into all of these insecurities as far as making friends (mainly in my sorority):
- basically reliving freshman year because I'm at a new school with new people I don't know, and having to continue to force the effort into finding my niche and people who want to get to know me as much as I want to get to know them.
- not knowing anyone except my older brother's Delta Chi brothers who have been really nice to me (my brother is graduated already)
- having a long-distance relationship with a great guy from my hometown who comes to see me on weekends as much as possible, which isn't very often
- adjusting to the semester system from the quarter system, and studying for classes as opposed to working on long art projects that require no studying (so my grades are crap cause I'm having to learn to study again)
- never having been completely on my own before
- not knowing how to relate to many girls because I'm sort of your classic tomboy who is slowly becoming more of a girly girl (but i still enjoy hard rock music and video games... and really dorky stuff)....
- finding myself being socially awkward like my freshman year around all of my sorority girls even though I make certain that i'm as enthusiastic, but genuine as possible whenever I talk to them. I even go up to circles of conversation and try to see if I can relate to what their talking to so I can inch myself into the circle a bit more and include myself in any plans... but that seems to fail.
I have just found that even though I have all the enthusiasm and hopes to make great friendships with these girls who, so far, I think are all very wonderful, pretty, smart, talented, and fun individuals, I just have a feeling that I'm not cut out to be the kind of girl I should be for them to be able to relate to me. I really really hope that all of my effort wont go to waste. My mother was a KD and she never found die-hard best friends in college as much as in high school, but she did manage to find her niche in KD, and I really look up to her. She is a friend to everyone and has so many leadership qualities just like I do... and I know that if I can put those to good use towards bettering my sorority, which I love so much, I know I will find my niche too. Maybe I'm just getting discouraged because of all of the things that I'm faced with at one time, and perhaps I feel overwhelmed. Not to mention that my best friend and her boyfriend now talk about me behind my back a lot cause she has issues with me that all stem from the fact that she still thinks I "left" her for a new life when I simply wasn't happy where I was and wanted something more. Maybe I'm going crazy.... I don't know. I'm just having trouble finding myself. But everyone does this... right?
I just have to keep trying and praying about it, and everything will turn out fine. Isnt' that the way everything is supposed to turn out?
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