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Old 05-07-2019, 10:03 AM
GreekOne GreekOne is offline
GreekChat Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 204
I would suggest to her that she accept a position of some sort. The Greek experience, as well as most in life, will mean more if she puts more of herself into it. You can't be a passive bystander and develop the love of an organization that most of us on this forum have. We have grown to love our chapters through shared experiences with our sisters/brothers. The more she puts in, the more of a connection she will feel.

If she is a newer member, and hasn't been attending much, she probably has not bonded with her pledge class. Some of my closest friends were women who pledged the year after me. Encourage her to recognize that she can be a great big sister and create the sort of friendships that she wants with the women who will join the chapter in the fall.

If she is uncomfortable and attends fewer and fewer activities, as a result, she will feel even more isolated. However, if she finds even just one or two sisters who she likes and puts the effort into getting together with them, she will begin to feel more committed and want to attend more often. Encourage her to name a few that she has started to connect with and have her focus on building those relationships by asking to get together for dinner or lunch, etc. just one on one. It is a great place to start.

Unfortunately, women see pictures of chapter members and they appear to be super close. When they pledge they expect this feeling to overwhelm them from the first day. When that doesn't happen, they are disappointed. Remind her that things worth having take time and effort. It doesn't happen overnight. I told my daughters to think about a sports team that they were on. They didn't feel the same way about the women on the team the very first day of practice freshman year as they did during the last game of senior year. Recognizing that it doesn't miraculously happen without effort will take some pressure off of the expectations she is placing on herself.
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