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I agree with 33girl. The problem isn't external, it's internal. No fraternity is going to extend a bid to a sad sack, and your lack of self-esteem is going to stand out way more during rush than your looks.
Formals weren't mandatory at my chapter, that I can recall. And dates weren't required either. I would invite a friend vs. a date, someone you'll have a good time with that can appreciate you for who are and not who you aren't.
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