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This has been an enlightening thread for me-at Clemson, a "crush party" just means that one or two sororities hold a mixer at a bar downtown and can bring dates that are not necessarily members of a specific fraternity or sorority. We don't do anything special about asking them, and it's definitely not anonymous because our dates have to be escorted in and out of the bar with the member of the sorority in order to enter. This is contrasted with a "mixer", which is a closed event for two fraternities and two sororities or one fraternity and one sorority.
Speakers can come to chapter before the official ritual starts to talk about events happening on campus as long as they let our guard know ahead of time so we can cover up our ritual stuff.
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