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Old 07-26-2007, 08:38 PM
christiangirl christiangirl is offline
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: in the midst of a 90s playlist
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Thank you. I was wondering if this was going to be a trainwreck before I got to tell my story...

Anyway, I'll keep it short. I've only been to a few weddings, but the worst out of the 3 was definitely my big sister's. I was the maid of honor, so I didn't have an escort going down the aisle (the best man was already up by the groom). This was terrifying for me as I'm dead clumsy and it was my first pair of heels. They had me wear them around the house for a few days to get used to them, but a fat lot of good that did. I tripped going down the aisle anyway. I would've played it off nicely had the photographer not jumped into the aisle trying to catch me. After successfully navigating the rest of the aisle, the wedding proceeds beautifully until the lighting of the Unity Candle. My sister and her almost-husband light the candle and turn away from each other to blow their individual candles out. My sister blows hers out, but the groom is just holding his, shoulders shaking. I'm standing behind them, so I'm watching his shoulders wondering why the hell he's laughing during his wedding, when suddenly he puffs out his cheeks, lets out a strangled sound like a tire blowing out, and throws his hand over his mouth while 2 groomsmen grab him under the arms and drag him from the church. We all just sort of sit in a stunned silence until somebody pokes (more like punches) the singer and tells her to go sing again, even though she'd just finished a song. After everything ended and the bridal party is back in their room, my sister tells us all about how her idiot husband got so tanked at his bachelor party that he'd been struggling not to throw up all through the wedding. Then, they all start scheming about how to get the dried throw up off the leg of his rented tux because my sister was freaking out having to pay an extra fee. However, after I tripped going up the steps for my portrait to be taken and made a thud that got the attention of everyone who hadn't left for the reception yet, there was a lot less tension in the room and a lot more laughing. After they came back from the honeymoon, they were going to copy the wedding video for family members who wanted one until they saw that the video zoomed in on the groom's faced as his cheeks exploded, cut to a random shot of the beach for a few seconds, then come back on at a different part of the wedding (which the timer at the bottom of the screen says was seven minutes later). After we saw that, we just kept it to ourselves.
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Last edited by christiangirl; 07-27-2007 at 02:37 AM.
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