[YouNo]

As my children ventured into greek life I found this board. As I was not part of greek life I have been very grateful for the honest and informative information I have found. I have also been impressed how some of you have such a deep love for your organizations and each other. My daughters have had great experiences in their greek organizations and so glad that they made the choice to join!

That being said, I am really concerned about the hazing issues. I work on a private campus in which greek life is very important to students. Often they transfer schools when they do not get a bid from what they deem as the "right" chapter. I have access to a lot of students who are very honest about a lot of things - including hazing. Of course they do not name names but when I ask does it happen and what types of activities I am shocked. They will often mention what is happening at other campuses with their friends, always careful not to give identifying information. It is primarily fraternities. At least in my conversations the girls pretty much all agree that sororities do not haze but they share stories of their male friends that they have across the south. Even in talking to my daughters who attended large state schools admit that hazing does happen at their schools with fraternities. Everyone seems to know it but not brave enough to report it. I of course have many friends with college age children who are pledging at their schools. The moms of the guys are very upset about the recent alleged hazing death. They lay down at night hoping their child is not being hazed until death. They know that they are all being hazed to some degree whether it is making them do things to the point of exhaustion, drinking, damaging other people's property or just intimidating them to the point they are making unhealthy decisions that they wouldn't ordinarily make. They only know bits and pieces as clearly their kids are not going to be totally honest about what is actually happening. One mom's son who is pledging has spent over 300 dollars in gas this pass week! He is buying gas all times of the night and she is convinced he is also paying for other member's gas. The number of students reported going to the hospital for alcohol poisoning sky rockets during fraternity pledging. Parents eventually see those medical bills.

My point is I wonder if we are not kidding ourselves when it comes to hazing. Sure it is anti-hazing week and everyone posts on instagram and have mandatory meetings about it but is it really helping? In my corner of the world, I would say not. Sure maybe it is not as bad as it once was but IT IS STILL HAPPENING to a much larger degree than I think organizations and campuses want to admit. More than I want to admit. Are we expecting too much for 18/19 year old boys to stand up to upperclassman? When I ask if they have ever reported it they all laugh like do you think I am stupid??? When you mention anti-hazing campaigns they just laugh. They agree it is wrong but it is not stopping. So what is it gonna take before it REALLY stops? How many trips to the hospital is enough? How many deaths? How many chapters closed down? Can alumni help in any way? When are parents gonna refuse to pay dues? I don't have the answers. I wish that I did. What I do know for sure, at least in my world, we have a long way to go! I would love to hear other people's point of view. We know the information the campuses and organizations are putting out there but what is REALLY happening in your corner of the world?