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I know that I personally would want a phone call if I were the alumnae member in question. (Of course, I'm a reasonable person, and if the chapter called me after the fact explaining that Panhellenic prohibited them from contacting me, I'd understand. It wouldn't take away the hurt feelings I'd had for however many days prior to the chapter finally contacting me though.)
Honestly, I would contact your regional officer (or whatever the appropriate title for the sisters higher up the chain for you) to see what they recommend. If this is a situation that has come up with other chapters, your group might already have an official solution/policy that they'd like you to follow. If the situation hasn't yet come up with other chapters, then your Inter/nationals might want to be aware so that they could develop an official stance. (after all, if its happening on one campus, its only a matter of time before it might come up somewhere else...)
I personally don't believe that contating an alumnae member should constitute breaking silence...after all, alumnae assistance is a part of recruitment for crying out loud!
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