^^^ I just noticed in another thread that your daughter joined Pi Beta Phi -- my daughter is also a Pi Phi.
I can see where those who have to wait for deferred recruitment would have some "missing out" feelings when they talk with friends at other schools who have happily joined and are sharing stories about their experiences. The main advantage I saw with deferred is that my daughter absolutely landed where she was meant to be, with no second thoughts ever, and that seemed to be typical. I think your daughter's friends should view rush dates as a way to meet people and subtly check out where they see connections. My daughter went on a lot of rush dates, too, but W and L has forgone those now, in favor of open house activities at each chapter once each during the fall.