[NYCMS]

If you're a PNM, please consider the following...

Nowadays I hear about many girls who wind up accepting a bid from a house they "don't like" and perhaps even feel "better than." But they hung in rush and took the bid then sometimes want to quit rather quickly. A few things to consider:

1) When you show up on Bid Day to your new sisters, don't be Debbie Downer. I get that you might be less than thrilled, but you need to know that you got a bid because those sisters WANTED you. I've heard of stories about girls being in tears, acting cold and upset, etc. when they show up. Even worse, I've heard of girls so disappointed in their bid that they don't show up at all. Be gracious when you show up, even if you are disappointed.

2) The most thrilling part of Bid Day is when the rush chairman reads off the list of girls who will become our new sisters. If only you could hear the squeals of excitement as we hear each girl's name called out! We CHOSE you and we're thrilled to have you "come home" to our chapter.

3) Regarding the fixation some girls have on tiers, realize this: Every house is the same - a group of young women who've come together to support each other in sisterhood. Every sorority was founded at a time when there was little support for women at colleges so the founders of your sorority took great effort and courage to form their group. The only real difference between sororities? The letters we wear.

4) Every house has fantastic members. There were girls in every sorority on my campus that I would have been proud to call a sister and many I wished I could. I believe you could take a bunch of girls from every house, create a new sorority and you wouldn't be able to pick out which house/tier anyone was in.

5) Bonding doesn't happen overnight so just because "you're not feeling it" doesn't mean it won't change. I know your generation has grown up in the era of technology where things happen instantly and for some of you, that can mean it's been harder to develop strong skills at "waiting". Even decades ago not all of us "felt it" immediately. It wasn't until I was initiated - which was 2nd semester back then - that I felt truly part of my house. And you must put in the effort: I took every opportunity to be at the house - formal dinner, lunches, studying, just hanging out since that helped me get to know girls. Chapters were smaller back then than on many campuses now (mine included)- we had 150 girls - so it was easier to get to know girls, but the point is that it takes consistent effort and putting yourself out there.

6) Give every house a chance. Give up being fixated on a tier or specific house - that's a sure way to derail your rush; actives easily pick up on your dis-interest. You might just be surprised at who you fall in love with and where your "home" can be found if you're really open.

Best of luck to each of you - I hope you find a home that you can love just as I did. It can and will take work, but oh it is so worth it!