Quote:
Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963
Damn, you're sweatin dude like that? LOL it was just one date, unless there have been more dates with dude that you haven't posted about. He might be kickin it with another female friend. You don't know any other dudes you can kick it with in the meantime?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB06
Assuming he had anything approaching the nice time you did (from these posts), his post-date behavior is a little baffling. Even a quick, "hi, sat night was fun. let's do it again soon" response. something.
you didn't thieve his wallet or anything, did you?  |
It was our second date, not our first, with frequent communication prior over the last couple months. So, it was odd to not hear from him. He did end the date saying "I hope we can do this again next week." And I told him I'd pencil him in for April, because the last time he said that, it was two months. We both laughed and he said "No, it will definitely not be that long again. I'm really sorry about that." And trust me, he seemed VERY into the date.
I happened across an article today (not looking for it) titled "4 reasons why he hasn't called you after a great date". The first one was "He is focused on being the productive man." That item talked about how focused men can be on their careers, school, etc. One, of course, was that he just wasn't really that into you. One was that he was feeling more than expected and wanted to keep it moving slowly so he was deliberately keeping it slow. I don't remember the fourth.. it didn't seem to apply.
Anyway, I chewed on that. I thought "He really was into me during that date." We seemed to connect on several levels and had some really thoughtful conversations.. philosophical conversations... like about what we really want, what we're looking for, even what we know our pitfalls tend to be and openly talked about them. It was really refreshing to talk to someone who was so in tune with himself.
He did say that one mistake he's made since his divorce is moving way too fast and developing "instant relationships" that crash and burn because they weren't built on a strong foundation. I told him I had made those mistakes at times myself and wanted to move forward slowly. I don't know, we were just on the same page on so many things.. even how liberating it is to be single sometimes. We talked about... so very many things. And there was chemistry, there was definitely chemistry.
So I was chewing over that article, and I was thinking about (warning, stereotypes here) something a dear friend of mine and I have discussed about one of the differences between men and women. It's the spaghetti versus waffle mentality. Women's brains/thoughts tend to be like spaghetti (cooked spaghetti!), all intermingled and happening at once. But men's brains and thoughts tend to be more like waffles. They focus on one square at a time. That pretty much fit with the article saying that if a man was focused heavily on his "purpose" of productivity, he could get so focused that everything else falls by the way side.
So I sent a text. It said "*crickets* Busy week? Or was it something I said?"
He replied very quickly "Crazy busy, definitely not about about you"
So replied "Gotcha
Just had to verify. Carry on!"
And I feel much better. SO I really should just ask the question instead of analyzing and over analyzing like I do. I DO want us to take our time in developing this. And I DO recognize that we're both super busy with grad school, work and raising kids.
I come from this generation of "always wait for the man to contact you" and that's difficult sometimes. So, I'm going to do what I want. Plain and simple.
