Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul
About the "insecure" comment re: women who "forbid" their husbands from having strippers at their bachelor party.
I have to disagree. My husband and I had a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend with our wedding attendants and friends. It was great. I said from the outset that I disagreed with the "requirement" of strippers at a bachelor party because I think the sentiment is ridiculous. "One last hurrah" or "one last night of freedom" is pretty offensive to the sentiment of marriage ( we're practicing Catholics, so that's our definition of marriage as it relates to us). It's pretty ridiculous to think that marriage = the end of a man's "freedom" or fun. Hell, if you're to the point of engagement surely you've been dating for x amount of years before hand, surely you could have had your precious "freedom" before then? Or backed out if you weren't sure?
Also: stuffing $$ into another woman's underpants just before starting a life together? To me that feels disrespectful, especially if you share finances...spending the money that you've earned together to pay for another woman to rub her boobs in your face? Heck honey, save your money and come home from work early  .
I just disagree that not wanting your husband to go and spend hours and money at a strip club means that you're insecure. It means that you've clearly articulated your boundaries. Strippers crosses a boundary for me, as it does for my husband (he clearly said that he'd prefer that I not have a hen night with strippers...instead I had a bowling night and pizza with my friends in Scotland before I came home). |
The operative element that you didn't address is the "forbid" portion - remember, the bachelor party is as much for the guy's friends as it is for the bachelor himself, and if you're not in a position to trust him around "women of the night", no matter how exploitative or offensive you find it, you're potentially in a poor position for marriage.
If you two sit down and decide it's not for you, great - that kind of discussion is the bedrock of a successful relationship (no matter whether you wind up agreeing or disagreeing!). If you feel the need to "forbid" it, there are issues - for many women, these may include insecurity, although not in every situation obviously.
This is without getting into the fact that marriage certainly DOES change the way a man interacts with his friends, as it damn well better - especially as a practicing Catholic, I would hope that you would understand the way the bond of covenant fundamentally alters, for the better, what is expected of a guy. To act like it's offensive to recognize that a new step means new boundaries is pretty disingenuous, especially when you have to fly your argument out to the 30,000 foot level to make it work.
