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Old 07-01-2006, 02:04 PM
hmd1014 hmd1014 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 28
The best of Suzanne ...

EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! Would the parents of the juvenile delinquent who broke my windshield please come to the announcer's booth immediately? And bring your checkbook! THANK YOU!

Mr. Fladbeau! This is Suzanne Sugarbaker! Reggie Mac is takin' his break now! THANK YOU!

Mary Jo, I had my period 5 years straight in high school to avoid PE, OK? What do you think I have a Mercedes for?

Suzanne, scoping out men at the supermarket: Hey, those two are cute—wait, never mind.
Mary Jo: What's wrong with them?
Suzanne: Two guys, one cart, fresh pasta, figure it out.

Bernice, at her sanity hearing ...

Now, Your Honor, if you don't mind, I'd like to tell you a few things about my cousin Phyllis. First of all, when you go to the bathroom at her house, you can't use the soap or the towels—there's just a big old bar of Ivory under the sink, and you have to wipe your hands on your pants. And whenever we go to McDonald's, she always wants to know what the fish is like. And I always have to say, "It's SQUARE FISH, Phyllis, OK?"

Last edited by hmd1014; 07-02-2006 at 04:13 PM.
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