[cheerfulgreek]

I just want to "piggy back" and comment about the guy not clearing off the snow or warming up the car for his wife. I'm not going to place all of the blame on him by calling him "odd" --shame on you, PB. This actually isn't an "odd" thing at all. In fact, it's a very common problem with many men. For all we know, she might be so self-sufficient, that he doesn't feel the need to clear off the car, or warm it up for her. If she isn't that way, then shame on him.

Honestly, I think that each of us must find our own individual way. For those of us who have a man we are romantically involved with, when we are out with him, some of us will pump gas in the car, or whatever, and some of us will not, expecting him to do it for us, etc. I can't speak for those couples, but as for me personally, I want my coat held, my chair pulled out, doors opened, snow cleared off, car warmed up, etc. --grade-A precious vessel treatment all the way. I'm not ruining my manicure unnecessarily…why should I if I don't have to?

To switch that around, not only do I think a man should be a perfect gentleman, but a woman should also be able to please him when it comes to his needs as well. I brought being too self-sufficient up, only to point out that many men feel they have nothing to offer most women, because we have gotten it all for ourselves. And many of us confirm this by wearing a self-sufficient attitude, leaving no room for the man to feel as if he can add anything else to our lives. I think it is important to be careful of this, because men were created to give.

Bottom line, nothing affects a man as deeply as an encounter with a woman who has womanly qualities. Most of the time we as women give when we should not, enabling men to be wimps or we withhold when we should give, crippling the man from rising up and taking his place in the relationship -- and this is part of the reason (in many relationships) why a lot of passive men or men who have become passive won't step up to the plate and be men.