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Old 09-08-2017, 11:32 PM
Midwestmom Midwestmom is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Another vote for "it will turn out the way it's supposed to" from a non-Greek mom

That may be the longest thread title ever, but I think it is accurate. I am an obsessive researcher, so when my daughter decided to rush at a large Midwest school, I jumped into gear and found this site. It was invaluable. I thought it only fair to return the favor to other moms.

My daughter never thought about sorority life until approximately a year before she headed away to school. She is smart, pretty and involved. As a mom, I think she is a very special snowflake - but, I knew all the girls would be. When it became apparent she was serious, I hit google.

No one in my family is Greek, and few family friends are Greek, but a couple who are said they would write references. Further research here said they were needed, so daughter and I started asking for help. She ended up having references for 9 of the available chapters - not ideal, but a start.

She talked to several friends from high school who had joined chapters at other schools and asked questions about the recruitment process. She felt confident rush would be similar to an 8-hour interview each day... and that seems to be accurate. Ha!

All of her roommates were participating in recruitment, and I will say right off that all had almost "perfect" weeks. Each received full invites each day, each had only one chapter that chose not to invite them back (based on the girls' preference lists) and all ended up in one of their top two choices. This was lucky, because others did not have "easy" weeks.

My daughter went in open to any chapter and knowing she would be lucky to receive a bid from any house. Along the way, a "top" house kept her on their list, and she eventually started listening to the talk. I mention this simply because it's easy to *say* you won't have any preconceptions and not as easy to stick to it through rush week. She had a difficult time preffing her favorites, but was invited to both of them for the final round. After two good visits, she preffed the top house first - and was shocked to receive her second choice on bid day.

It wasn't the perfect bid day for her (no tears, thank goodness), and the first week was filled with anxiety for this mom! After the second week, she knew she was where she was supposed to be and now is a very happy member of her sorority.

If I could pass along anything learned, it would be this:
1. Grades matter, especially in the early rounds. There were significant cuts among my daughter's friend groups with girls who had lower gpas.
2. Pay attention to how you feel, not what others tell you. My daughter listed a "top" house lower on her list early because it didn't feel like a good fit, and ranked a "lower" house high on her list through most of the process because she had such good conversations.
3. It takes a little while to build relationships, even if you're thrilled with your first choice. My daughter's friends who received a bid to their first choice still struggled to feel settled.
4. Get references. The house my daughter joined does not offer bids without a reference.

Without experience in the Greek system, recruitment was a very hard week for mom! And, I can't imagine how much alcohol I would drink through an SEC recruitment.

Last edited by Midwestmom; 09-09-2017 at 12:35 AM.
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