[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

To add to my post:

I think the more blatant coaching and preparation for competitive recruitments comes from those parents and families with the LEAST amount of connections or knowledge of the Greek system. Not uber-connected PNMs with multi-generation legacies (or those who are Miss Popular at "feeder high schools").

Like I said in my post, Mary Sue isn't coached and drilled on recruitment because it isn't neccessary. She knows (based on her social circle) where she'll end up and there's no need for these extensive preparations that we read about (e.g. hiring rush coaches, interview coaches, voraciously hunting down outfits, etc). Her family is in the know and everything will work out.

The girls being blatantly and openly groomed and coached for sorority life are those not "in the know."

Those are the girls who need the extra help because they lack well-connected parents/relatives/etc.

These are the PNMs and moms who WANT to be in a top house (like Mary Sue), and thus spend alot of time preparing for the process (because they're behind the curve of those girls like Mary Sue who don't have to exert such effort).

Oddly enough, I've heard it said that the moms and PNMs who are most concerned with getting into a TOP HOUSE (and are the MOST status-conscious) are those who are NOT "shoe-ins" for top tier like Mary Sue (such as PNMs with non-greek parents).

Mary Sue has what she needs to get into ABC so getting in is (typically) not an issue. She is not pressed about what "tier" ABC is. She has grown up in a family of ABC women, so it's all she knows.

On the other hand, Suzie Jane who just moved to Anytown in 10th grade (whose mom is NOT Greek) who sees/hears about ABC all the time from the popular girls in school, is going to have to work 300% harder to come close to having a shot at it.

Suzie Jane's mother will likely invest in the heavy duty coaching because she has asked around and knows that being ABC at Anytown University is "the best" and wants her daughter to have access to the status of being one. So she, being from the outside is more concerned with what's "the best" and "top tier."

Wow, that was long. But all of this to say that heavy duty grooming and coaching is mostly for those who are trying to "break into" sorority life and the social circle that it provides in some Southern town. Not for those who have grown up in it. For them, things just are what they are.

Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner. What many people don't understand is that it isn't really a matter of "grooming" when it comes to being a "natural fit" (for lack of a better phrase) into a "top tier" chapter at a competitive school. These are the girls we have known since birth. We often grew up in the same neighborhood. Our parents are old friends and may have been sorority sisters and fraternity brothers. That goes for our grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. We went to the same schools. We were in Girl Scouts together. We went to camp together for years. We were debs together. We already know a lot of our sisters or their relatives long before recruitment begins, and we aren't depending on summer parties, recs etc.