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Old 10-08-2019, 10:41 PM
anongreek anongreek is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Land of Sunshine 🌞
Posts: 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theta1234 View Post
Hey Keri, I am so sorry that you are hurting. Hindsight is 20/20, so please don't kick yourself for anything that may/may not have happened in the past.

All of the other posters are spot on. You don't know what is happening behind the scenes. Perhaps the girls really do love you--but there is just someone else that has more connections. Connections are key. Get to know more people. Go out on coffee dates. Create study groups. Don't give up on recruitment.

Sometimes, it is hard to know what to say and what not to say. The groups need to know that you are VERY interested, but you can't appear desperate. This is where it helps if you have an advocate. That can come in the form of several girls in the chapter who are super vocal and fight for you--campaign to all the girls they know on your behalf. It can also come in the form of an alum who directly contacts the chapter on your behalf. I am sure you had recs before recruitment. Here is a little secret for some groups. People can submit recs at any time and they go the rec chair at the house. If you personally know an alum for the groups you are interested in, have them send a note (or fill out an official rec) to the house. They can say things that you cannot--like that you really LOVE this chapter. This really only works with someone who knows you. So, if you are interested in trying COB--or even fall recruitment next year--start working your contacts. Find women you know and have them go ahead and prepare a rec. I can't guarantee this will help, but it can't hurt.

Best wishes for the future.

P.S. It is really poor form not to attend pref. Think about it from the perspective of the ladies of that house. They have shined everything. They have practiced and they probably did something very specific for you--wrote a note, created a gift, etc. You didn't have to accept their offer of sisterhood, but by not attending their pref. ceremony, you essentially spat in their face. Can you imagine the sister who was assigned to you, that did all of the work that morning and was waiting for you at the door to the house only to find herself alone at the party? She was putting her best foot forward and you blew her off. I know you were probably really disappointed on that day when you lost your favorites. You were hurt. However, our hearts also break for the girls to work so hard to create a beautiful pref experience and then have PNMs refuse to come to their home. That's why some here get a little harsh to those who don't attend pref. I wish you the very best for the future and hope that one day you can attend a pref party and see all the work that is done for each special PNM.
Beautifully said Theta1234.
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