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Skits, Day Two!
This day is a defining moment in my rush experience.
7:15 AM Friday morning, I'm almost done getting ready to go to my 8 am class when I check my phone to see that my Gamma Chi had called me late last night. She left a voice mail telling me to call her back immediately. So I call her.
I have no parties tonight. None.
I'm trying to stay positive and fighting back tears, but neither of us understands what just happened. I was prepared for rejection. I knew there would be heavy cuts after the first round. But to go from 10 to 1 in one round? I didn't think it would happen to me. I did so well at philanthropy round! I had an amazing resume, was talkative and enthusiastic. My Gamma Chi is discussing my options with me. If I rank Lord of the Rings number 1 for skits and they invite me back for Pref, I'm almost guaranteed a bid. These girls want me. But do I want them? I thank my Gamma Chi for talking to me and tell her I need to call my mom.
After sobbing to my mom for a few minutes, I attempt to pull myself together and go to class. This doesn't work out so well. Paying attention in class isn't too hard because I know how to study and take notes. But I cannot stop crying. My mind just goes back to the rejection. What did I do wrong? Did they think I was being fake? Perhaps my interest didn't come across as genuine. Most likely there were simply a ton of awesome girls, or the way the computer and rankings work just screwed me over. I keep that in mind, but we all know how hard it is not to beat ourselves up in these situations.
I have three classes on Friday morning before getting a break for lunch. By the end of the third class, I'm still extremely upset, but feeling much more positive. There is always a light at the end of a tunnel. I can see it. I know it's there, and I know what's in store for me once I get there. It's just so hard not to succumb to the despair of the dark tunnel. It chokes you, it frustrates you, and scares the hell out of you.
My dark tunnel has two paths.
The first path. I know that if I make it through preference round with Lord of the Rings, I can be the sorority woman I want to be. I'm able to remind myself all of the great things about them. I have a few epiphanies about why I wouldn't fit in with some of the other sororities. I will rank them number 1 for skits and do my best to show them I want them, too, at Preference.
The second path is that I get dropped from recruitment before Preference. Yikes. I don't want to think about it, but I have to. If this is how it is meant to be, I will throw myself whole-heartedly into my other activities. I'm in a choir. I want to continue voice lessons. I'm planning to join the club swim team, a little family of its own. I will go to sorority events throughout the semester and participate in their philanthropies. I'll get to know the girls so that if I choose to go through spring informal rush, I will be a familiar face.
Things will work out the way they're meant to. I have faced this sort of rejection too many times NOT to know that it always works out. It will be okay in the end. Maybe not great, but okay. And okay is something I can live with.
Another great thing about this experience? If one of the worst days of my life is the day I was dropped from 9 sororities (favorites included) in one round, I have a pretty dang awesome life. Seriously, I am so blessed to have this life.
I got out of class and called my mom to tell her all of this. After that conversation, I had pretty much made up my mind. I am going to rank Lord of the Rings my number 1 and hope for the best.
That evening I went to our Panhellenic building to rank. I walked in there with my head held high, a smile on my face. I ranked, and then talked to my Gamma Chi. She has seriously helped me through so much. I had even hoped she might turn out to be my sister. I could see her fitting in with Lord of the Rings, but I really couldn't be sure what her sorority was. She told me how proud she was of me and how impressed she had been with my positive attitude. We cried and hugged a bit before I left to go back to my dorm. I was a little nervous, but knew absolutely that everything would be okay.
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