[KDMater]

oldrusheenowmom (neat name by the way): my fingers are crossed so hard for your daughter, that I'm losing circulation! I'm impressed that she's hanging in there - it would be so easy to bow out. Keep telling her how proud you are of her. I saved all the e-mails and IM's from that time (actually from the whole year -I'm making a "secret" scrapbook that I'm going to try and do for all four years) to show my daughter at some later point.

Not all girls sail through rush and sometimes the hard knocks are the ones that make a person stronger. I kept telling my daughter that everything happens for a reason and that obviously god has some different plan for her. I hope that my words come true especially when she rushes again in February (they have 2nd semester rush) when it will be my turn to toss and turn and worry and fret and I'll be asking for everyone's good thoughts then.

In the meantime, I truly hope that however this turns out (and I hope it's a place in a house) that your daughter is happy and accepting of the outcome.

And you didn't mess up!!! You did the best you could and tried to help as best as you could. There was no way you could have known this would happen. I know I didn't - I was as in shock as my daughter. I also questioned myself - did I give bad advice about what to wear? about how to present herself? I constantly urged her to not overlook any group because it was all about a good fit. But did I forget to tell her to let her know how much she liked a sorority? Over and over the questions went around in my head. In the end, I really think it came down to what several posters above said: she didn't really know a lot of the girls in the houses before hand and I think she got lost in the shuffle that way.

She knows so many more now and hopefully that will help when it's time to rush.

But don't beat yourself up - you sound like you're handling it great.