Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
You rushed as a freshman, dropped out and re-rushed as a sophomore. This probably hurt your chances.
You didn’t have rec letters for all the chapters at a very large school. This probably hurt your chances too.
As far as to why you were dropped from your favorite chapter, all I can say is sometimes you can like someone a lot, but not be OF them. Looking from the outside it might seem like they would have been a fit, but actually being a sister is far different than being a friend.
In large rushes like this, a lot of behind the scenes prep is done and the sororities are trying to match up sisters with rushees they have the most in common with, at least on paper. Probably what happened is what often happens - similarities on paper or from extracurricular activities don’t necessarily mean two people will have a lot in common in person. I very seriously doubt you were being “tested.”
As for the process being rushed and flawed - the fact of the matter is that when you have hundreds, perhaps even thousands of girls looking to join a sorority, there’s only so much you can without turning it into a process that takes months and months. The kind of rush you described is a big part of being Greek at that kind of school and you can’t separate the two. You might have done smashing at rush at a small school with a small Greek system, but that is not what was available to you.
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Agree. And as another poster said, don't overlook how stressful it is on the actives too and how dog-tired we all were at the end of each day which affects decision-making.
I personally believe that even if you were in the chapter room when your name came up, the actives' reasoning for releasing you might not make sense or give you the closure you seek. If anything, it could open up new questions that only lead down the proverbial rabbit hole. Chemistry is so subjective and as pointed out above, members can really like a PNM, but also know who would and wouldn't be a sister.
I also want to emphasize something else that 33girl wrote - PNM's can look like a great match to actives based on paper, but the reality can very different so I wouldn't read anything into the conversations that didn't go well. I liken this "matching" to applying for a job where, on paper, you seem like the best candidate, but then you interview and the match isn't there. Or the interviewer - or active in this case - is bone-tired and not at their best. For some actives - those who don't really enjoy rush (and there can be a few) - it takes a lot of energy to keep up great conversations, so they might not be as polished as others.
I'm sorry that things did not go your way and hope you can get closure on this to move on. Good luck with your senior year.
