Does he see your kids and participate in their lives? Or is he completely gone?
One thing that I've never understood is why guys quit being fathers to their kids when they get divorced.
When they get extremely limited visitation even though there was no reason for it (I mean like abuse as a reason), and in cases where the mother seems to be spending a lot of the money on herself (
www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1115283908919), I can kind of understand why they get frustrated with having to pay a lot of support.
But in cases where the dad leaves the family and then just seems to feel like it's okay to stop all support, I'm completely baffled.
I think that maybe we should go to a system when the father is required to specifically pay for certain kinds of support, like he's obligated to pay so much of the mortgage or rent directly to the bank or landlord. Or he's required to put so much money into a medical flexible spending account or college saving account. With clothing and food, it'd be harder.
But one of the reasons I think some losers default is that they think of the money going to the wife, and if they weren't paying it to the wife, maybe they'd be more likely to pay?
