[IndianaSigKap]

Please talk to someone, there might be programs on your campus where graduate/doctoral students in counseling and therapy see patients on a supervised basis. I feel badly for you that you are having such a hard time. As a teacher, I know that teens can be cruel. But I also know there are good ones out there, too. Find your group. Have you looked into organizations that do philanthropy work, service organizations? Set up a community service project within your major, if it's a large one. At my alma mater, the business school offers community service projects such as working for Habitat for Humanity. I feel like something like this would be good for you, on several fronts: make new friends, do something positive for your community, make you feel good about yourself, add a line or two to your resume, etc. Whatever you decide to do, please take care of yourself and be good to yourself.

On another note, you keep mentioning plastic surgery. If you really feel like it would help out physically and emotionally, check it out. There are financing options. There are also university hospitals who do surgeries as teaching opportunities. Depending on the extent, you might be able to have it done over a school break. You keep mentioning it, so I think the decision is weighing heavily on you. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to make it through. Best wishes you OP.