Spent a little time rereading all your posts (except for the ones that were deleted, but some of those were QFP'ed) and I wrote this to you back in March (bolding for emphasis here):
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta
Reminder: you went through FR, only met a few of the members in the chapters for a very brief time at the open house rounds. You didn't get past that first round, where you start to meet more members and engage in more in depth conversations. You may also be basing your opinion on what you've seen in your time on campus. That's human nature.
It's been written here before: the actives are skilled at making conversation and making everyone feel welcome, as well as making themselves desirable. It's a fact. So basing your opinion on "clicking" isn't particularly helpful, as you truly don't have enough on which to base any sort of opinion. Unless, of course, you've been spending a lot of time at any chapter as an invited guest, or have good friends who are already members (which, I gather, is not the case; you haven't mentioned any of those connections).
My greatest concern, after reading the multiple threads you've started, is that you're looking outward for what may be missing on the inside. One of my panhellenic sisters already addressed this in another thread. Instead of focusing on "what do they want and how can I make myself into that?" your energies would be better focused on yourself. There's nothing more attractive than a confident, happy person. I get the depression, you've referenced that several times. Sincerely hope you have that well in hand.
Good luck to you. I mean it!
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Others also suggested that you get support. And here we are again, my Panhellenic sisters are all singing the same song to you. Last night I wrote a post (which I decided against posting as I thought it was way too harsh), which essentially said "you need professional help". I'm saying it this morning and I mean it in the most supportive, kindest way possible. I also recognize (from your posts) some social issues that may be interfering with your ability to relate to others.
A last word: sororities can magnify your strengths. They can also put your weaknesses under a microscope. It is very much like living in a small town in many ways. You could get those letters on a shirt, and that house, and find out that you are even more miserable than you are right now. Seriously. I couldn't say anything else better than NYCMS & Titchou & all the rest of my Panhell sisters have already written. Please take it to heart. Be gentle with yourself, and move in a new direction.
