I'm so sorry this happened
AEPhi has a similar policy to most of the other NPC sororities: A legacy is a sister, daughter, or granddaughter of an AEPhi. She must be invited back to the second round of parties. After that, she can be cut at any point up to and including pref invites. If she is invited to pref, though, she must be on the first bid list.
This is a courtesy extended to the AEPhi sister, not the PNM. Suppose a legacy only meets 1-2 sisters during first round, and they don't hit it off; she gets an automatic invite back, a "second chance" to meet more sisters at the next party, as a courtesy that is extended only to legacies. After that, she must prove that she would make a good sister on her own merits. But a PNM invited to pref is a woman whom the chapter wants to pledge, so a legacy is placed at the top of the bid list to ensure that she will match if she wants to.
You didn't say whether you were going through formal or informal rush. Informal works differently, and the chapter is under no obligation to extend a bid to a legacy in that situation.
Under either circumstance, though, the chapter should have been more polite - "legacies don't count anymore" is bull. Any AEPhi chapter releasing a legacy, especially during formal rush, had better have a d*** good reason to provide both the relative and nationals.
