[oldalum]

I have read this site for years, but until now I didn't feel the need to set up an account and post. I apologize in advance for the length of my post, but feel that I should give an accurate background story.
I live in a small city about 45 minutes from a large SEC school. My organization has a chapter at the SEC school. I was not a member of that particular chapter. The chapter is not an "old" chapter, but also isn't brand new. Because of this, it isn't one that PNM's discuss frequently. The chapter is strong. They are very involved, make quota, have great grades, etc. BUT they aren't considered one of the old, "elite" chapters on campus. Very few of the girls in my city actually end up pledging the chapter, they usually end up in another house. Because of this, the alumnae presence for my organization is very small in my area. There are a couple of us here that are in contact with our state officers, and we are usually the ones that write recs for our area.
My daughter attends a small, private school in our city. Each year several of the girls go through recruitment at the SEC school. Each year I am contacted by many of the girls to write recs for my organization. I am always happy to help, because I usually know them or their families personally.
The issue that I am having is with one PNM. On paper, this girl has everything that a chapter would want. She has great grades, was very involved, has leadership experience, is from a prominent family, and is a cute girl. It's what isn't on the paper that is concerning. Her reputation in the area leaves a lot to be desired.
Normally I would have no problem giving her a "not recommended" rec to the chapter. However, knowing that I am probably the only alumnae from my organization that she knows, she would be able to figure out why she wouldn't have gotten an invitation back from my organization during rush. To complicate things further, her aunt is involved in another organization and is very prominent in town.
My dilemma lies with my own daughter who will be going through rush in two years. I'm afraid that if this comes out, she will have issues when it's her turn to go through rush. Her aunt is known around town as being a busy body and can be petty at times. My husband says for me to give her a neutral recommendation, and not to say anything negative because these things have a way of coming out in small towns. I am conflicted, because I don't want the girl in my organization. Chances are, she'll be invited to join one of the other, more established groups anyway.
Any advice?