[Storytime!]

Day 2- Philanthropy (35 min parties) and Skit

It was finally here! I could actually go to recruitment! My roommate and friends had been bubbling non-stop about the first day. They all loved Monica, but Phoebe had a lot of positive buzz too. J had been rushed by her sister who was an active at Chandler and was bummed that she didn’t meet more people she hadn’t grown up with, but it was just the first day.

I wore tan corduroy pants, a black long sleeve top, and black boots, and for some reason I wore my glasses that I hardly ever wear. I had straightened my hair that morning in a way I hadn’t done before and it didn’t look right until I put my glasses on, so I went with it. PNM lesson: do not try out a new hairstyle the morning of recruitment. Also, if you don’t usually wear your glasses don’t wear them that day as people who might have recognized you from class or a group or something may not if you’re wearing something they’ve never seen you in.

Three Rho Chi groups were put together and went to all of the chapters. Our order was:

Ross
Phoebe
Joey
Chandler
Monica
Rachel

All of the chapters would have a skit and some sort of activity related to their philanthropy. I’ll keep the details general if it would give away the chapter:

Ross- As the smallest chapter and the since they only take engineers they had the engineer PNMs go in first where they talked three PNMs to one sister and the non-engineers go in second and we talked about 5 or 6 PNMs to one sister, which makes sense. They couldn’t cut anyone until after the second day so they had to see all of us no matter what. I don’t remember what their activity and skit was, but because it was so many of us to one sister we mostly just chatted among ourselves.

Phoebe- This was my first step into a full on recruitment party. The sisters were lined up in two rows on either side of the door singing and clapping, and when I came in I was not sure if I should look left or right, and missed the sister trying to greet me and wandered in a bit. I was mortified when she tapped me on the shoulder, but it was a funny conversation starter. My campus had not gone full on no-frills at this time (there was a set budget per party, but things the sorority already owned like table clothes didn’t count, and as recruitment director later I discovered $.50/yd tulle at Walmart and learned you could do a lot of decorating with 40 yards of tulle, so parties were pretty frilly in terms of food and décor). Phoebe had a huge balloon sculpture/arch related to their philanthropy that to this day impresses me. With that and the clapping and singing, and everything I was a little overwhelmed at my first party.

I had a fine conversation with the first active I talked to (major, activities, etc.), and my orientation leader (the chapter president) swung by to say hi (and added she didn’t know I wore glasses…. Guys seriously, do not add something notable to your look at recruitment), but I really, really clicked with the second active I talked to. She and I both did musical theater in high school, and had cats growing up, and we had such an easy and great conversation. The parties were only 35 min, so with the skit it flew by. Phoebe does a really fun and funny major philanthropy event so talking about that was really entertaining. I couldn’t believe that the party was over so quickly and really liked Phoebe a lot.

Joey- I was an 18 year old girl and just wanted to be liked by the cool kids of Joey, and I now know that many of the things I did were no-nos. I was more used to the singing clapping lines of actives and didn’t wander past my greeter, but was thrown for a new loop when she grabbed the PNM behind me as well. So I was double rushed by a sophomore in my major, which gave us something to talk about. But the conversation was not going that smoothly, possibly because I was trying too hard, possibly because the other PNM was not an English major... I don’t know. I can’t tell you what the craft was because it would give away their philanthropy, but I did not do well at it and the active had to keep fixing my mistakes, which was horrifying me. PNM lesson: I did what no PNM should do, I brought up booze and boys. Don't do that. I was just trying so hard to seem like I would fit in with Joey, that I was stepping in it left and right. The active steered away from it, but look back on myself and cringe.

She was bumped by the active who would be the pledge mom and we went over to have some cookies and conversation before the skit. She was really nice (like any good pledge mom should be), and their skit was cute. I got to talk to one last sister for a couple of minutes as the party ended, and then I stepped in it a third time- I tried to take my cookies out of the room with me because I hadn’t had time to eat them while chatting and I was hungry (swimmers need a lot of fuel). She almost had to pull me back into the room to grab the cookies out of my hand. PNMs, do not be me at Joey, do not try to squish yourself into what you think they want. Be you, you may be their perfect sister! I had good conversations with 2 of the 3 sisters I talked to, and I wanted Joey to like me so much, but I had a feeling I didn’t do well there.

Chandler- Recovering from my really stellar performance at Joey, I at least had Chandler which typically didn’t make quota so in my cocky little 18 year old brain I told myself I couldn’t mess up here. The sister who picked me up was actually J’s older sister who I had met a couple of times and was really sweet. Because they have lower numbers she had me and two other PNMs at the same time. She did a pretty good job keeping the conversation going with us, but the sister who bumped in after the skit was very quiet and we ended up talking amongst ourselves more than with her while we did our craft. Because they are a local, their philanthropy is a local one and their big fundraiser is a male beauty pageant so we tried asking a lot of questions about that, but she was not into the conversation. The last sister we talked to at least engaged us, but it was with questions about our majors and what dorms we lived in so it felt kind of flat. I wanted to give Chandler a fair shot because of J’s sister, but also my 18 year old I just want to be cool brain was using the “didn’t feel a connection” excuse to shade a house that wasn’t very popular.

Monica- I am more naturally like the Monicas than the Joeys so though I really wanted the other “cool” chapter to like me and was trying really hard again, it wasn’t as much of an act. As with many of the more popular chapters on all campuses, they were good recruiters and made you feel like they love you. I was one on one, and the first active I talked to was a former swimmer from a town near my hometown so we had a ton to talk about. The next active I did the craft with had just got engaged so she was gushing about that, but we had a really funny conversation about our shared love of coloring. The third sister and I a great conversation about The West Wing (we were both junkies) and how we wanted to work in politics but didn’t know what major would be best to do that (she was poli sci and psych double major, I was poli sci and English double major). Their skit was super cute and I honestly don’t remember what their philanthropy fundraiser was because it changed the next year, but I had good conversations and really felt comfortable with the sisters I talked to. I came into the party wanting to love the Monicas and I left loving them (along with many many other PNMs).

Rachel- This was the new colony on campus and they only had 9 upperclass members from their fall recruitment so they brought in a bunch of actives from nearby chapters to help out. They had these helper sisters pick up the PNMs and do the traditional bump group while the 9 sisters floated around and talked to all of the PNMs. I had a great conversation with the actives from the other chapters, and got to talk to my RA and another sister who it turned out I had a poli sci class with (she didn’t recognize me at first because of the glasses), but I felt like it was hard to judge what the chapter would be like without getting to spend much time with my actual future sisters. Nationally this chapter has a very strong philanthropy so they showed a national video which made it look like it would be fun to be a part of on my campus. They did a short skit with all of the upperclassmen that would be in the chapter which made it easy to now recognize them in the sea of other actives. The idea of being a founding member of a chapter was really cool, but I also didn’t know if it would provide me the sorority experience I was looking for while it really got established and going. I left thinking that I wasn’t in love with the chapter but wouldn’t mind coming back and learning more.

The day was long and overwhelming and now we had to rank the chapters. I’m a pretty quick decision maker in general, but it only took me 20 or 30 minutes to decide to list them as:

Monica
Phoebe
Joey
Rachel
Chandler
Ross

My biggest decision was whether to list Phoebe or Joey second. I had an amazing party at Phoebe and felt I fit in really well, but the immature part of my brain wanted to be with the super popular Joeys.

Across my friends Monica and Phoebe got good reviews, and a number of them had much better experiences at Joey than I did. We still all were wondering what joining Rachel would be like, not having the support of 60+ upperclass sisters. Now onto a week of school and practice!