[Sciencewoman]

I think you have been given accurate and well-meaning advice from several alumnae who are actively involved in chapter advising and recruitment support, and who know what they're talking about.

Sadly, every year there are posts from new members or moms who are disappointed in the new member's recruitment outcome, and many times there is mention of a potential loophole, misinformation, computer matching glitch, etc. that is thought to have negatively impacted daughter's recruitment, and that should be remedied. I have never, ever seen a post from someone who came back and said the situation was "fixed" and the new member was released from her bid and now has a new bid to a desired group that had released her.

Personally, I would encourage your daughter to actively engage and work to make friends in her new sorority, or drop before initiation if she just isn't committed. You may not feel that scheduling a meeting with the Greek Life office to present the confusing texts is "making a stink," but trust me, as a long-time university professor and chapter advisor, word will get out and it will be perceived as disgruntled. Even if only one student employee spills the beans, word will get out on a small campus...and members of her current sorority will definitely be offended and hurt if she drops or is somehow released, and word will get out that she wanted a different group. It only takes one sister to talk with a friend in another chapter, and word will spread like wild fire. Groups that already released her will not change their mind and extend her a bid under those circumstances. My daughter is a recent graduate of Washington and Lee, which just finished recruitment, and others who have shared that deferred recruitment on a small campus is a different beast are absolutely correct. Women have been vetted all fall, and there is usually a feeling about "who's going where" by the time actual recruitment comes along in January.

We also see posts every year from women who transferred after initiation, and feel they have "extenuating circumstances" that should exempt them from the NPC "can never join another NPC group once you're initiated" agreement, and they should have the opportunity to re-rush and join a different group at the new school. That isn't allowed and never happens, either, but we still see these posts every year.