Quote:
Originally posted by CUGreekgirl
Honestly, that is starting to look like a good option.
I mean hell, I thought guys like a girl who was a little bit of a challege. I was just trying to play the game. I didn't even go out w/ the guy and i just said I might go hang out w/ him. Besides, we haven't had the official 'what are we' talk yet, so as far as I know we were still just casually dating (it's only been 1 mnth) and we were still free to date other people. Guess I was wrong.........
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let me connect the dots for you, because honestly I think you're just bad at guys - here's a rundown of how it looks from the peanut gallery, and remember that I'm seriously trying to help.
1 - you meet boy at church, you're interested, he is too but you're concerned about his lack of experience
2 - you roll out some clown in the bar, afraid this will damage your chance with first boy
3 - you acquire second chance with boy, then begin to see somewhat bootleg patterns in your interactions (which appear to have a large IM component)
4 - you become effusive over the boy, about how great things are going, how you're going to take it slow (even with #2 fresh in mind, or maybe especially), but how you're now very into him
5 - you make a pseudo-step toward going out with another dude (and use the classic 'no-talk' copout), then are stunned when the same kid from step 1 is not cool w/ that. On top of this, you act as if he has done you wrong, because you're now heartbroken.
Now, dude, I think that when it's laid out in this skeleton, you can see more easily the dramatic disconnect in what's been happening. First, I don't think you were nearly into this kid as you wanted to be, either that or you spent a lot of effort to sabotage the relationship - PS that's the number-one sign for "crazycrazycrazy" in girls, to guys.
Second, it's OK to want to date around, especially if you're not ready for a relationship - embrace that, but let the guys know, you'll save a lot of 'heartbreak' (mostly for them, but apparently for you too). If you want to use dudes for sex, do it, but you don't need an excuse for it. Just want to do it.
Third, I think you need to look at how you view these relationships. You seem very centered on your self and how you're being affected - that's all good when I occasionally do it, because I'm kind of a dick and I'm totally up-front about it with those certain girls I'm using for a prop. I'm also not dating virgins I met at church. For you, you'll have to change some things to pull it off. Think about who you're going after, and why, yo.
-RC
--is obviously bored at work, but I mean this in earnest, kid
