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Is it feasible for you to approach your friend in B with the following: Joe, you know my Dad and uncle are As, and they were hoping that I'd at least give A a look. I am really flattered with the bid to B, but I need to strike a balance with my family and at least go through Spring or Fall rush more fully. I am sorry that I didn't have the presence to request a deferral at the time.
That is what I should have done because you are a really solid house.
That said, be prepared not to receive reconsideration of the bid. This is not likely a scenario where you get to hold a bid while you consider another. (Think dating, where you string a girl along and DON'T get me going on that.). Also consider that A might not choose you (despite legacy status), so you had best have a Plan C.
One last piece of advice: you seem overly status conscious. The comments on Spring recruitment are telling. That is an ingredient for disappointment when making decisions. As noted above, you may not score with either A or B. However, if you will be forever dissatisfied with B, do those guys a favor and decline the bid. They sound like a solid house with decent guys and an HQ that believes in the chapter to the extent of getting them a new house (as soon as it can be constructed). They also sound like a good group for post-graduated networking, and those guys sound like the fellows that you will actually stay in touch with. So if you stay with B, don't be an Eeyore.
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