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Old 06-07-2001, 02:19 PM
LXA1048 LXA1048 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Murray, KY
Posts: 168
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OK I will start out with the funniest movie of all time.

witch scene from Monty Python and the search for the Holy Grail.
Bring out your dead!

Customer
Here's one.
Cart Master...Ninepence.
Dead Person ...I'm not dead!
Cart Master ...What?
Customer ....Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
Dead Person ....I'm not dead!
Cart Master ...'Ere. He says he's not dead!
Customer ...Yes, he is.
Dead Person ...I'm not!
Cart Master ...He isn't?
Customer ...Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
Dead Person ...I'm getting better!
Customer ...No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
Cart Master ...Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
Dead Person ...I don't want to go on the cart!
Customer ...Oh, don't be such a baby.

Cart Master ...I can't take him.
Dead Person ...I feel fine!
Customer ...Well, do us a favour.
Cart Master ...I can't.
Customer ...Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
Cart Master ...No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Customer ...Well, when's your next round?
Cart Master ...Thursday.
Dead Person ...I think I'll go for a walk.
Customer ...You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
Dead Person ...[singing] I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]

Witch Scene

Bedevere ...And what do you burn apart from Witches?
Villager #1 ...More Witches!
Villager #3 ...Shh!
Villager #2 ...Wood!
Bedevere ...So, why do Witches burn?
[pause]
Villager #3 ...B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
Bedevere ...Good! Heh heh.
Crowd ...Oh, yeah. Oh.
Bedevere ...So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
Villager #1 ...Build a bridge out of her.
Bedevere ...Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Villager #1 ...Oh, yeah.
Random ...Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
Bedevere ...Does wood sink in water?
Villager #1 ...No. No.
Villager #2 ...No, it floats! It floats!
Villager #1 ...Throw her into the pond!
Crowd ...The pond! Throw her into the pond!
Bedevere ...What also floats in water?
Villager #1 ...Bread!
Villager #2 ...Apples!
Villager #3 ...Uh, very small rocks!
Villager #1 ...Cider!
Villager #2 ...Uh, gra-- gravy!
Villager #1 ...Cherries!
Villager #2 ...Mud!
Villager #3 ...Churches! Churches!
Villager #2 ...Lead! Lead!


Arthur ...A duck!

Spaceballs..."What's the matter Colonel Sanders, CHICKEN?"

Sorry about the length, but I am a huge fan.

[This message has been edited by LXA1048 (edited June 07, 2001).]
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