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Old 09-21-2017, 01:32 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: A dark and very expensive forest
Posts: 12,667
If I can lane swerve, I'd suggest you try not to say anything like this again:
Originally Posted by Momoffour View Post
I told her that it worries me because I would hate for her to be initiated, then have her chapter close.
It sounds like your daughter sees the challenges, but she chose this chapter and they chose her. She's happy with these girls, so I imagine that she wants the challenges she sees to be dealt with successfully. My experience in situations like this is that expressing your own worry risks passing that worry along to your child. And it can mean she's not only dealing with her own worries and the chapter's challenges, but she now may feel some responsibility for allaying your worries.

What I mean is this: By all means, acknowledge the challenges she sees and you see. If you have constructive suggestions to make, make them to her, and let her know you're ready to support the chapter in any appropriate way that the chapter would like. (Though definitely follow the advice of others and let her drive the train.) Listen and respond to what worries her. But don't add to what she's adjusting to and growing into by telling her what worries you about the situation.

Just my $0.02.

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