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Old 09-05-2017, 01:44 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 72
I joined my only choice. I rushed back when there were five rounds (and pre-RFM so no guaranteed bids or even guaranteed invitations to "Open House") and for the first three rounds, I had a perfect rush going. The fourth round, I went from 6 (?) invitations down to 1 and it just rocked my world. I didn't mourn the loss of one chapter like OP but all of them. The chapter I had left was strong and a "contender" (in my naive little pnm brain) but I didn't have my heart set on it, but with a perfect rush up to that point, it had never occurred to me that I wouldn't be choosing which sorority I wanted.

Luckily I finished the week and got a bid after all. But I still wasn't sure on Bid Day nor for the whole first year really. My big sis was a junior and that didn't help make friends in my pledge class where almost every other girl's big was a sophomore and they would hang out in groups together. I went ahead and initiated because 1) sophomores didn't stand a chance at re-rushing at my campus and 2) I knew DG was well regarded both on campus and nationally. Yes, it never occurs to PNM's that even new members in "selective" chapters feel unsure and like they don't quite fit in.

So what changed? I made a last minute decision to apply to live in the house as a sophomore. It.Changed.Everything. When you live, sleep, get ready, leave for class, watch tv, etc with 50ish sorority sisters, you just make friends. At the urging of some of the seniors, I ended up running for an office and later went onto our exec board my junior year. By my senior year, I was the "go to" member to counsel anyone who was considering resigning. I never considered resigning myself because my parents strongly believed in the lifetime membership benefits but I definitely was the poster child for going from "wallflower" to "super DG."

Hang in there, OP! It may feel like everyone already has a group but many are just "faking it until they make it." My advice is to sign up for everything you can within your chapter (intramurals, volunteer work, painting banners for homecoming, lunch at the house, a low-level officer position, etc) even if you don't know how to paint or play dodgeball. Just GO! And be friendly and positive once you're there. Eventually you'll find your place. Chapters are pretty good at identifying the types of girls who will be successful members so take comfort in knowing the older girls in your chapter think you're 110% going to make a great member!
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