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Old 09-04-2017, 09:22 AM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: N 37.811092 W -107.664643
Posts: 5,030
Been thinking about this, a lot. Probably already been said (and probably better said as well) by my Panhellenic sisters, yet somehow I feel compelled to type this out.

It boils down to one of two things:you will fall in love with your second choice, and you'll make friends, and in a year you'll wonder what you saw in the other chapter. You'll go on to be a leader in the chapter. You'll have a lifetime of great experiences with like-minded women who wear a variety of letters, not just your own.

OR, you will continue to pine for the one that got away, and you'll be miserable, and you'll drop. And your chances of landing any bid as a junior are essentially those of a snowball in hell. Harsh? Perhaps. I agree with thetalady's assessment.

I see this often. Young women think that being in XXX or YY is the only right fit and the only chapter that they can possibly be happy in, and why oh why did they get a bid from ZZ or EEE? Trust us, there are valid reasons you didn't get what you thought you wanted. And trust us, we ALL felt like "I don't fit in". Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. It's all part of the process. The sorority is where I learned to get along with all kinds of people. Give time time. This "I don't feel a connection" stuff drives me insane, frankly.

Did my best rushing as a senior (for reasons pointed out by 33 & PhilTau). I am still in contact with a Theta who "fell in love with me" and pledged Theta as a freshman. She was upset when she learned I was graduating, but she got over it. She had to! I was her unofficial "big", which worked for both of us. She bonded with her pledge class, she got a terrific "big", and she is still an active alumna. AAMOF my "big" was a senior when I pledged; I had one very close year with her, and she graduated. Yes we are still in contact. I missed her, and I survived without a "big" just fine. My point? You are constructing artificial barriers to developing great friendships.

Please think long and hard about what you want to do. I would hate to see you miss out on a lifetime of membership benefits. There's an instant connection when another woman discovers that we share a sorority membership experience, regardless of what chapter letters we wear.
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
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