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Old 08-09-2015, 04:49 PM
KDCat KDCat is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 1,371
Quote:
Originally Posted by PJS View Post
I haven't posted in a long time, but I had a recent conversation with a PNM and thought I should share a story that might soften a PNM’s view of the early cuts that often come in recruitment with RFM. This is not new information, but a personal story to reinforce something that you read in lots of other threads.

My daughter went through recruitment several years ago at a large university with about a dozen NPC sororities. I was an alum of XYZ, and both she and I thought she would pledge my sorority. She loved the house and she had an excellent resume, so she went into recruitment with "an open mind," but assuming she would pledge XYZ.

The first day she had almost a perfect set of invites back. Only one house (ABC) in her top group did not invite her back. It was a very strong recruiting chapter, albeit a group that I did not really see Dear Daughter fitting in or pledging. Because of this cut, one of the houses (DEF) that she had ranked in the lowest group was added back to her list. It was a chapter she visited when she was tired at the end of the first round; the house was kind of a blur and “nothing special.”

Then came the second round of cuts, which blindsided both of us. DD was cut heavily, including by my house. She ended up with a full set of houses at Pref, but decided to SIP (aka suicide) DEF. Although DEF was a house that she had ranked in her lowest group on the first day, she ended up loving it and pledging it over 2 others that she had kept in her top set the first day. [For the record, I do not recommend anyone doing a single intentional preference.]

If you've stayed with me this long, the point I want to make is this: If the strong recruiting chapter had not cut her the first day, her second day schedule would not have included DEF. I have thought many times how THANKFUL I am that ABC let her go the first day.

Getting cut by any house can be a blow to your self esteem, and RFM does have the downside of not letting the chapters get to know many girls for as many parties. HOWEVER, if you can try to focus on early cuts as an opportunity to get to know houses and girls that maybe YOU didn’t get to know as well during the early rounds, it might be a little easier to take.
This is a terrific advice! Viewing your cuts as an opportunity is a great idea. Sooner or later, most PNMs get cut the same way. Everybody only has one or two choices left by the time they get to pref. On a big campus, you might be able to go to three pref parties and so have 1-3 houses to choose from. That's it. Everybody is getting cut down to to 1-3 sooner or later. Patty Perfect PNM is getting cut to 1-3 choices. Amy Awkward is getting cut to 1-3 choices.

If you are cut early, you can focus on the houses that you will have left at the end. You can take some time to get to know them. You will have more insight into which one you want to pick, or if you want to pick any of them. You will have a better idea where you are going, so can relax a little and focus on your final choices.
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