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Old 10-08-2012, 09:21 AM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I can't seem to keep track!
Posts: 5,820
You've gotten some great advice and it seems you are receptive to it. I will add that this feeling is also normal to girls who got their first choices, so you are not alone in feeling this way! I'd even bet there are girls in your new member class who have had similar feelings, not to mention other ladies in the other chapters at your school.

Everyone experiences some sense of temporary buyer's remorse, for lack of a better term, at some point in their sorority experience. I can tell you that this experience goes away when you make a strong effort to improve your attitude and take control of the situation by making an effort to get to know people and letting them know you are there. This is true in any organization, and not just in sororities.

Grab the phone list. Make an effort to reach out to a few members each day and invite them to have lunch or a coffee on campus, or to see a movie. Organize some impromptu sister dates. Go cheer on your team at intramurals together, or get ready together for a mixer. Do this and you'll start to make new friends and feel more included.

The members don't know you yet. You have the power to change this. And next year, you have the power to help shape the new member class.

I'm pretty sure the girls from the other sorority giving you the stink eye were not doing so out of general meanness. Sometimes when we feel hopeless, we tend to read into things too much. They all knew one another and you were the odd man out. Try to view that as an opportunity to introduce yourself and make some new friends.

Being in a sorority is not paying for your friends. Therefore, being part of a sisterhood doesn't equal instant BFFs. You have to actively work at developing and cultivating relationships. People will come to you if you make an effort to come to them. You're not going to bond with everyone. Some people you probably won't like very much. Others you will click with instantly. But within a large group, I'm pretty sure any reasonably nice and decent person can make friends. Sisterhood is a shared goal to support the community and one another, in addition to friendship. In college, I had some very close friends in my sorority, but I also had really close friends who were members of other sororities. That's just how friendship works. It takes effort and you have to put in what you want out of it. You can't wait for others to come to you.

You've got so much potential to turn this into a great experience. Attitude is a large part of making that experience a success!
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Last edited by adpiucf; 10-08-2012 at 09:25 AM.
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