My comment on the physical characteristics posts. It's random because there is more I want to add that really isn't based on that alone. For me, I have to be physically attracted to a woman before I even think about pursuing her. She's got to catch my eye before I decide to look further to see what her character is about.

Physical attraction and appearance is the first thing I notice, and I understand that looks soon fade. So, although my choice to pursue her is based on physical characteristics at first glance, I'm also going to choose a woman who has other, less obvious attributes that go much further toward potentially contributing to a strong, lasting relationship. When I first meet a woman I'm considering pursuing, I consider her manners (how she treats other people), what types of interests she has, if she shares my spiritual beliefs, if she shows interest in what I have to say, etc. To me, I think this goes a long way in determining what kind of person she really is.

I always note how a woman I take interest in treats those she is not trying to impress. I understand that the newness of the initial attraction wears off, so there needs to be something more to sustain a bond or the relationship is not going to work, so it's not all based on physical attraction. Her character is equally as important, to me. But at the same time, if I choose to eliminate a woman (upon first glance) based on her physical characteristics, I don't believe that to be shallow, at all. I have to be physically attracted to her. I couldn't imagine being with a woman who looks like Shrek, with jacked up, rough, oddly shaped feet, and hair on her legs. Nope, can't do it.:D

Everytime I see you've posted, I automatically glance at my feet to make sure they're okay....as if you can see them. :rolleyes:

ETA: Yes, I think physical attraction is important to draw me into a man but I don't have a list of physical requirements so I guess I don't really have a "type." I just....like what I like, I guess. There could be two men who look completely different and I'll find each one attractive. There could be two men who look nearly identical but I'll only feel an attraction to one...perhaps because he has kinder eyes, a warmer smile, etc. If I feel at ease with a man and he gives off an air of being open and welcoming, he automatically looks more appealing to me physically than the next guy.

IMO, I think people can be shallow whether physical characteristics are important or not. Physical attraction is important to me, and I am not a shallow person. However, no matter how handsome the external, if his spirit, heart, and mind are not in divine order, he's just another handsome face, and that alone is unattractive, to me. I also think whatever it was that initially attracted you to that person, both externally, and internally, needs to continue. Everything, including a healthy relationship has to be maintained in order for it to continue to function properly, which means sometimes it's important to revisit why the two of you (in general) chose to be connected in the first place. Bottom line, if both people treat each other as the most important part of the relationship, both will get more than they anticipated.

Oh, and my D&R random since I'm up posting....
http://youtu.be/S4WvK442P6U ;)

I will admit, there are hygienic issues that affect attractiveness that would prevent me from going out with someone initially but there isn't any one physical characteristic that would immediately eliminate someone for me. When I was younger, that was different, but as I approach 50, I have to be realistic here...lol. Most men don't age as well as Patrick Dempsey, but most men have something attractive about them. Lively eyes that show emotion in them and easy smiles tend to attract me. It isn't the color of the eyes or the shape of his lips, it's more about how he portrays his inner self through his eyes and smile. Sure, a man with hair catches my eye first, but I don't rule out bald men (obviously.. last two relationships were with bald men). I prefer a bigger guy- tall, broad, but HD had an odd body shape from all the skating (look at pics of speed skaters.. small upper body, large lower body..odd) and short, The Talker was short also, average build.

It comes down to: If your life partner was in some awful accident that disfigured him/her in some way, would you bail on the relationship? Our bodies change in ways that we have no control over. Our faces change in ways that we can't control. Attraction is more complex (for me) than straight out physical characteristics.

I think it just largely depends on the particular person. It's just that we all come to relationships preprogrammed from all of our former love connections, whether they were long-term and short-term romantic connections, or based on what we observed from our parents -everyone is going to have a different perspective on what they define as attractive. The characteristics that you've mentioned are characteristics that move you, but what attracts you to a man may not attract someone else. Because someone chooses to eliminate a potential partner based on physical attraction doesn't make that person shallow. At least I don't think it does.

People have their own definition of what a life partner is, but for me, I define a life partner as a husband. To me, a marriage is a covenant, and is not by any means a contract, so my answer to that question is absolutely not. Like I said earlier, physical attraction is very important to me, and I'm not going to get involved with a man who I am not physically attracted to, but I'm also not going to insist on what he looks like alone. I'm also going to have a clear vision of what I would like my relationship to look like with this man. I base my choice not only on outward appearance, but my choice is also based on function.

And you do not know that she will bounce.

I gotta be feeling her personality traits, but she's got to give me some ass too. I'm not going to be in a dry dick relationship. Fuck that.

How are you going to sit up here and tell folks they're shallow based on what they like? If that's the case, then somebody can tell you that you're shallow as hell too, based on why you don't fuck with certain dudes.

Have a seat home's.

I don't feel my manhood is defined by sex. I'm a man if I'm tappin it or having a dry season.

LOL this is some funny ass shit.

It took me a minute to figure the shit out, but if I didn't know any better, AQAK, I'd think you have a cyber crush on Dusty. LOL. Dude's dick is dusty, you won't give up any ass, and both of y'all are all religious n shit, so y'all would be a match made in heaven LOL.

I feel you on all this.


CTFU @ y'all over here trippin, imitating me n shit. Y'all are scandalous as hell LOL.

:eek: Omg. I just figured out why you call him Dusty.

I'm more worried about the reverse in your relationship! What if your feet end up deformed because you run and have a job where you're on your feet all day! ;) This question keeps me up nights.

lol
Hilarious!

So you see why "If you know men who are okay with not having sex, why aren't you with them?" is a ridiculous question. There's a lot more to compatibility than just one qualification--if we don't "click," nothing else matters.

:eek:



























































http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/440812_o.gif

I just laughed so hard, my neighbors stopped walking. They were on their way to their car and they stopped dead in the parking lot and looked back toward my window.

Masterful. Absolutely masterful.

Home's what? To what thing belonging to home do you refer?


Wait. Huh? Isn't your point that you're not fucking that? How can you simultaneously fuck that which you are not fucking?

I know you have a wife and everything...but would it be okay for me to declare my undying love for you? Right now? I'll only do it just this once.

Yeah, count me in on the MC fan club. (just don't tell my husband.) :p

LOL. Let's go with sisterly love. :D

Sisterly love? Dude, that's fucked up. Don't mess with that shit, bro.
ETA: You feel me?

:eek: THREE SWEARS


LOL

CTFU, we're just kickin' it.

http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif "This is some funny azz sh*t!"

I hate all of you.

I especially hate MysticCat.

I especially especially hate christiangirl and amIblue? for trying to steal my GC-crush.

I just have to say, you're all proving my "attraction isn't always about physical looks" point because we don't even know what this man looks like and we're all crushing on him!

I crushed first. Y'all are in line behind me, for the record.

I know what you mean but MysticCat should cuss you out just in case. LOL.

Am I the only one who received this MysticCat photo via PM years ago?

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...7qGGjsSEcRxkwF

Btw, my real life (not GC crush) attraction begins with physical looks because I meet men in person. I do not meet men on the Internet or via phone. It is only after I approve of their in person physical looks that I care enough to be attracted on another level.

Well, that wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me, now would it? Handsome is as handsome does, you know. ;)

;) I am a fan of cussing. Gentleman cussing. Handsome cussing. Just cussing.

Ok, I concede. There are some physical characteristics that would be deal breakers. Muscles like that are definitely a deal breaker for me. Ewww. Also, if a man's hair is longer than mine.. deal breaker. So there are a couple.

LOL you didn't know dude isn't fuckin? He's one of those abstinence religious mofos. Dude got weeds n shit growing out the side of his dick LOL.

What if you clicked with dude, but later on dude said he wanted some ass? Would you let him hit it?

CTFU! I almost fell out of my seat laughing at this shit LOL!

No, "home's" is short for "homeboy", it's slang for somebody who's an associate/acquaintance, -some dude who lives in the neighborhood etc. It doesn't have anything to do with a house or whatnot.

When somebody says "fuck that" after a comment, that really means "forget that" or basically dude isn't feeling or agreeing with something or somebody. "Fucking that" can mean that I'm "fucking" a female, or "tappin that" can also mean the same thing. For example, if I was "fucking" ya mamma, that means I'm having sex with her, or the slang for that could be that I'm "tappin that ass". Anymore questions, home's? If not, have a seat.

I hope you're taking notes, MC. Clearly, standard usage of the apostrophe is optional or perhaps even frowned upon, but typical conjugation rules still apply.

It does if you put an apostrophe before the s. I know what "homes" means, Dude. But "home's" =/= "homes."


LOL at you thinking I needed to have that explained to me. Dude, I knew what it meant before you were born.

Let me explain for you: I'm just mocking your apparent inability to communicate without using the phrase constantly. It pays to increase your word power.

I feel you.

He could be a kind hearted man with a gentle spirit. Don't be like that!!!!!

Now...do you really FEEL her literally or is that a figurative feel? Is it a feel like "fuck that" or a feel that "fucking that."

Since Cen1aur1963 thought he needed to school you. LOL.

Wait...she ditched a guy who she liked and ostensibly liked her because he had gotten around in the past? Or was it because he had dated/hooked up with some of her friends?

The first is unavoidable and could be her friends telling her stuff to be messy. I've learned that sometimes the people who should be the most in your corner for things like that will throw you under the bus. Especially if they're bitter about dude or bitter about being single.

The second is almost unavoidable in some groups--especially in small towns or if dating circles overlap, which they almost always do. In one of my groups of friends, there has been a lot of in-dating and after a while everyone just got over it. Everyone has a past. If you're responsible about communication, then it should be fine.

LOL @ your dumbass for thinking I give a shit about grammar on here.

You give a shit, I don't. LOL.


Apparently is doesn't look as though you knew shit LOL. You don't have to explain your sarcasm to me, home's. I knew what you were doing. I was just giving the shit back to you. But LOL @ your dumbass for taking me seriously.

And you don't think I know that?

LOL at this mofo. This is a message board home's, I personally really don't give a shit.

Again, have a seat home's.

She said it was because she couldn't trust dude because of his past mistakes. She didn't know dude kicked it with some of her friends, but I know that wasn't the case, because she dated dudes who used to kick it with friends of hers. Not so much as in a relationship, but just dated them. I just thought it was foul as hell for her to judge dude like that, because I used to kick it with a lot of females too, but I've changed those habits. I was just telling her that this dude probably changed his. I thought dude was cool as hell. I wouldn't have told her if I wasn't feeling him like that.

LOL I feel you on all this. I told her it was because they were bitter about being single. "It's that misery likes company" shit. I feel you. I wish I could show her what you just posted. She'd probably listen to another female.

I feel you. And this is the issue with a lot of folks. They judge somebody else based on that person's past, but what's fucked up, is the folks who are doing the judging have a past too. That's why I was trippin on some mofos on here for not fuckin with certain people who they didn't even go out on one date with. My sister hangs out at The Flats sometimes with some of her friends, and some of the dudes she meets online also hang out at The Flats, so I told her that it's going to be hard to meet dudes who aren't in her circle of associates.

Have a seat yourself, LOL. The harder you try, the more you make any mocking on my part superfluous.

Here, this should help.

So, a dude hit me up on POF who sounded interesting so I replied. We chatted back and forth through messages for a bit and he said he really enjoyed our chat and wants to move it to text/phone calls and gave me his phone number. I sent him a text so he would have mine too. It's probably too early for a nickname but he's a laser printer technician for a health system near me so he might be Printer Guy. He's never married, no kids, but had an 8 year relationship that ended in December. I may end up kicking it with him. *giggling*

lmaoooo

CTFU! I feel you.

No, but this is totally irrelevant to the question you originally asked me.

LOL I'm not "trying" to do anything for you, home's. I don't give a fuck if you mock me, I'm going to post the same way I always post whether you mock me or not. LOL. Have a seat.

You said if nothing "clicks", nothing else matters. So I asked you if you are clicking with dude, and he wants to fuck, would you fuck him? It's relevant to your response to my original post.

Not really.

That response was to your question of why I'm not with someone who is fine with abstinence. The same way that sex cannot carry a relationship if personalities don't match, abstinence cannot be the only thing we have in common. Sex being the only conflict when we have other things in common is an entirely different topic (and something I've never encountered as I have yet to even date a guy who has pushed for sex after hearing how I feel).