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Iota Man 05-15-2012 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146178)
Welcome back.

Thanks. I read ol girl's post. I see the rules, now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146178)
That one word throws it off. Both events are horrible (possibly traumatic) and both have lasting effects but they are not the same.

I'm talking "same" as in not necessarily the same shit, but having a lasting effect on both people in the same way as in "that shit isn't ever going to be erased from memory".

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146178)
Just curious, if you told your mom that how you felt watching her go through that was just as bad as how she felt living it, how do you think she would respond?

It depends on the mom. My mom felt worse for us than she did for herself. You can't say all abused moms are going to think the same way when it comes to their kids. I believe a lot put their kids first. My mom did.

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146178)
I was actually hoping you'd come back because I never got to tell you what I thought about the movie. First of all: Baby Boy was ghettohotmess.com. I mean, that mess was GHETTOTASTIC. But I still liked it lol. :) The two of them put the fun in dysfunction. It was hilarious to watch those two hollering at each other and I think I was laughing at things that weren’t even meant to be funny—it was that ridiculous. Parts of it even went in line with the last few pages of this thread. I thought Yvette was hella dumb for staying with Jody when he treated her so badly and could not for the life of me figure out why she didn’t just leave. Ironically, the sex scene (which was also crazy and over the top :rolleyes:) was the thing that showed me the most about her. Going beyond the physical, I could see how the way he held her right up against him probably had her in heaven. He told her he loved her, he wasn’t leaving her…he gave her reassurance on every insecurity she had. I think I stopped judging her right there (and didn’t realize I had been until that moment). I still didn’t agree with her decision to stay as long as she did (or with how much she disrespected him back), but if those were the gold nuggets she found sifting through the mess, I totally got why she stayed in it. But I cheered like crazy when she finally left him—that was my favorite part of the whole thing.

LOL I feel you. I liked it, too, but did you check out the ending? It's been a minute since I last saw the movie, but they made it look like they were going to live a future happy life. My thoughts on that was they were probably cool that day, but it would eventually be the same shit after that LOL.

Their relationship reminded me of this couple's relationship. When I saw this movie, I knew their relationship was foul as hell within the first 20 minutes of the movie LOL. Check it out.
http://youtu.be/Kc3qvqgAol0

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146178)
ETA: This Tyrese video is old but I just saw it last night. It reminds me of Yvette and Jody all grown up. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swTjmWQa4IY

CTFU! This is some funny ass shit LOL! I didn't know dude could sing, though. Females get into that shit. All dude gotta do is sing to her, and she'll forget all about the negative shit LOL.

christiangirl 05-15-2012 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146244)
I'm talking "same" as in not necessarily the same shit, but having a lasting effect on both people in the same way as in "that shit isn't ever going to be erased from memory".

See, THAT'S a completely different statement than the one you made ealier. This, I agree with 100%.
Quote:

LOL I feel you. I liked it, too, but did you check out the ending? It's been a minute since I last saw the movie, but they made it look like they were going to live a future happy life. My thoughts on that was they were probably cool that day, but it would eventually be the same shit after that
Yeah, the ending was definitely unrealistic but I guess that's why it's a movie.

How did you NOT know Tyrese was a singer?! That is as shocking to me as when you found out I'd never seen the movie. And I can't really talk since I am into guys who sing....oh well. I'll give you that one.

33girl 05-16-2012 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1780218)
That is seriously part of the reason I stay good friends w/ and hang out w/ my ex. He still does all the little (and big) things that drive me @#$%ing insane. I'm sure he feels the same way. We get along super on the phone but you can't have a love partnership only on the phone.

I knew I said this before in this thread. So I'm quoting myself and saying again, stay friends with your ex, so you can be reminded of why they pissed you off.

Thank you so much for telling me I'm bossy/won't shut up/getting pissed that I word vomited when I clearly showed I DIDN'T want to talk by texting you instead.

Iota Man 05-16-2012 01:00 PM

It's quiet as hell over here LOL. Some of the main mofos who post over here bounced.

AGDee 05-16-2012 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146412)
It's quiet as hell over here LOL. Some of the main mofos who post over here bounced.

A couple of them are on vacation.

AlphaFrog 05-16-2012 02:58 PM

Ok, I have a D&R Random:

My husband just got on Facebook about 4 months ago. He's not very computer savvy in general, and is pretty clueless about Facebook "etiquette". He's mostly learning from his brother who is not only also not computer savvy, but recently separated from his wife and on the hunt. The result is them friending all kinds of girls with the stupid "dress like a skank and take a booty pic in the mirror" profile pics. Not gonna lie, it kinda makes me crazy, but not as much in a jealous way as in a "I don't want people to think that these are the kind of people my husband actually associates with" kinda way. I'd say something, but I'm sure he'd throw it back at me that I have a ridic amount of FB friends that I probably shouldn't have (people I've met one time at acting gigs and such). In my defense, I know how to use the privacy settings.

Iota Man 05-16-2012 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146434)
A couple of them are on vacation.

Okay. I was wondering where everybody was.

TonyB06 05-16-2012 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146434)
A couple of them are on vacation.

I'm back from my wedding/honeymoon. Great time.

I'd never seen water as pristine as it was looking out at the Atlantic Ocean ....that is, until we walked the white sand beaches in Nassau, Bahamas. As a rule, I'm not "save-the-planet" or "super environment" guy, but I did come away with a greater appreciation of nature.

Now, if I can just get my new bride's new phrase "you were such a bachelor" to quit ringing in my ears regarding our house as she's on a scrubbing/cleaning binge, throwing out much of what I held dear, like my collection of McDonald's mugs, old fantasy football magazines, etc..

I'm like "I know I wasn't ever the neatest bachelor, but it wasn't like my house was an al-quaida outpost either." :)

Iota Man 05-16-2012 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146451)
Now, if I can just get my new bride's new phrase "you were such a bachelor" to quit ringing in my ears regarding our house as she's on a scrubbing/cleaning binge, throwing out much of what I held dear, like my collection of McDonald's mugs, old fantasy football magazines, etc..

I never understood why females did that shit. They always want to keep what they call sentimental keepings, but throw out the shit we like.

And LOL @ big girl's brother in law showing her hubby big booty females on facebook -CTFU! -that's some funny ass shit. Me and Brandi need to work on the same thing, though. Not so much her, but she says me. I still got females I used to kick it with that I'm still cool with on my facebook page. I could see if I was still kickin with them hard like that, but since I'm not, I don't see why it's a problem. But for real, I haven't been on Facebook in a minute, so I don't know why she's trippin.

Iota Man 05-16-2012 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 2146444)
Ok, I have a D&R Random:

My husband just got on Facebook about 4 months ago. He's not very computer savvy in general, and is pretty clueless about Facebook "etiquette". He's mostly learning from his brother who is not only also not computer savvy, but recently separated from his wife and on the hunt. The result is them friending all kinds of girls with the stupid "dress like a skank and take a booty pic in the mirror" profile pics. Not gonna lie, it kinda makes me crazy, but not as much in a jealous way as in a "I don't want people to think that these are the kind of people my husband actually associates with" kinda way. I'd say something, but I'm sure he'd throw it back at me that I have a ridic amount of FB friends that I probably shouldn't have (people I've met one time at acting gigs and such). In my defense, I know how to use the privacy settings.

If I showed your husband and his brother some of the big booty females on my page they BOTH would say "GODDAMN!" LOL!

AlphaFrog 05-16-2012 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146453)
I never understood why females did that shit. They always want to keep what they call sentimental keepings, but throw out the shit we like.

And LOL @ big girl's brother in law showing her hubby big booty females on facebook -CTFU! -that's some funny ass shit. Me and Brandi need to work on the same thing, though. Not so much her, but she says me. I still got females I used to kick it with that I'm still cool with on my facebook page. I could see if I was still kickin with them hard like that, but since I'm not, I don't see why it's a problem. But for real, I haven't been on Facebook in a minute, so I don't know why she's trippin.

Look, dude, I'm trying cut you some slack, but drop the Jr. High "big girl" bullshit. It's really old, and rude.

dreamseeker 05-16-2012 09:06 PM

i'm tired of being in a long distance relationship. i need to be touched (not just sexually) on a daily basis.

KSUViolet06 05-16-2012 09:37 PM

^^^^I've heard that LDRs are hardest on people for whom physical contact (holding hands, etc.) is their 'love language" if you will.

dreamseeker 05-16-2012 09:49 PM

indeed. affection is one of my love languages.

christiangirl 05-17-2012 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2146538)
^^^^I've heard that LDRs are hardest on people for whom physical contact (holding hands, etc.) is their 'love language" if you will.

Touch is my love language but I always thought I'd be okay with an LDR because being around a man for too long annoyed me no matter how into him I was. That changed when I a) got better social skills and b) spent time with men I was way more into than any of the guys I'd dated in the past.

In short, I was doing it wrong. :)

TonyB06 05-17-2012 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146561)
Touch is my love language but I always thought I'd be okay with an LDR because being around a man for too long annoyed me no matter how into him I was. That changed when I a) got better social skills and b) spent time with men I was way more into than any of the guys I'd dated in the past.

In short, I was doing it wrong. :)

I have a co-worker whose got married 10, 12 years ago? She lives in my city, her husband lived/still lives in Chicago. From outward appearances they're happy. She was 40+ then, sort of set in her ways and it was her first marriage (don't know about him) but maybe that helped her. I don't know why it works but apparently it does.

I'd guess when one of them visits the other, they turn off phones and all other contact with the outside world for the weekend, but other than that, it would seem weird to me.

Iota Man 05-17-2012 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 2146457)
Look, dude, I'm trying cut you some slack, but drop the Jr. High "big girl" bullshit. It's really old, and rude.

http://images.cheezburger.com/comple...cdec447de0.jpg

Iota Man 05-17-2012 10:13 AM

I don't know anything about folks and these love languages. Never really heard of it. Does "touch" fall under tappin that ass? LOL! For real, though, I would be touch, not so much as just tappin it, but I gotta be around my girl, for real. I like that physical part of the relationship.

TonyB06 05-17-2012 01:51 PM

^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

AlphaFrog 05-17-2012 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146690)
^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I'm strongly Acts of Service, then Words of Encouragement.

Gifts, Quality Time, and Touch are on the bottom for me.

My husband is Quality Time & Touch.

christiangirl 05-17-2012 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146605)
I have a co-worker whose got married 10, 12 years ago? She lives in my city, her husband lived/still lives in Chicago. From outward appearances they're happy. She was 40+ then, sort of set in her ways and it was her first marriage (don't know about him) but maybe that helped her. I don't know why it works but apparently it does.

I'd guess when one of them visits the other, they turn off phones and all other contact with the outside world for the weekend, but other than that, it would seem weird to me.

Yes, there is a woman at my job whose husband lives in Florida. As someone whose languages are touch then quality time as a trailing second, I have no idea how they make that work.

I bought the 5LLs for Singles. It gave some really good insight to how all this works with friendships and family relationships, too.

TonyB06 05-17-2012 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 2146703)
Yes, there is a woman at my job whose husband lives in Florida. As someone whose languages are touch then quality time as a trailing second, I have no idea how they make that work.

I bought the 5LLs for Singles. It gave some really good insight to how all this works with friendships and family relationships, too.

As a Words of Affirmation guy (w/ Quality Time as my second LL), I don't think a long-distance relationship (w/out some sort of end-date resolution built in) wouldn't have worked for me either.

What have/had you found to be the biggest diffrentiators in the 5LLs for Singles? particularly regarding friendships? (I've not read any of GC's spin-off books, so I'm interested if his basic "language theories" hold or if he has other views on other types of relationships?)

Iota Man 05-17-2012 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146690)
^^ The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.

AGDee 05-17-2012 06:32 PM

6 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

This is funny.. I have been annoyed at times with men who bought me lots of gifts for no reason because I felt like they were just trying to impress me or buy me. I'm not impressed with gifts or money. I do like quality time and everything else is probably about equal.

So I realized today it's been about a month since I last emailed EMUProf and he never responded. I was right to be mentally writing him off.

Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.

DrPhil 05-17-2012 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146720)
Nothing against dude, but I looked it up and read a little bit about him and his book. I don't believe in or get into those kinds of self-help books. They're not realistic. What I mean is books like that will talk a lot how you should be doing things with your girl/boy, but that's not how relationships always work. They don't always fall inline like that. You feel me? If that was the case, everybody would be reading that shit and following it. Folks get all into that biblical shit which is cool, because I follow God, too, but those self-help authors write that shit to do one thing and that's to get paid. In a real life setting, it doesn't work like that.

I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.

With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.

TonyB06 05-18-2012 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146741)
Tomorrow a bunch of us at work are going to Five Guys, including work guy. Maybe I'll find out whether he's married.

...I had to re-read this sentence again, slowly. Initially, I was like "wow, AGDee is gettin' it in." LOL

Dionysus 05-18-2012 10:57 AM

I'm definately a quality time person, romantic and platonic-wise. It seems like it's the thing I get the least from people. Fuck everyone's busy lives. :(

I'm a touch person the least. In fact, I hate touching or being touched, unless I'm horny.

Iota Man 05-18-2012 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 2146797)
I have respect for Dr. Gary Chapman because he is educated, well-researched, has extensive experience in marriage and the family (which is an interdisciplinary field), and is a minister.

I feel you, but with him being a minister, that really doesn't mean shit, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 2146797)
With that said, the Love Languages thing truly is annoying as is The Secret and other guides. People are forgetting/ignoring things that have been known for generations and giving credit where it is not due. My favorite thing is when someone's contribution to a conversation is "there are five love languages...this is how I love...."

That is how I know when people are missing the point and are finding something--anything--to quote and follow.

LOL I feel you. The shit is pretty stupid to me. I feel you, though.

Iota Man 05-18-2012 04:25 PM

Last night I was talking to my girl about switching it up a little. Different positions are cool, but I like to try new things/new ways. What's foul as hell is I wanted to try anal, and some other freaky shit I won't post about, because folks on here might not be feeling me with it. She rejected both of my requests. I think when two people are in a relationship, and one person wants to try some new shit, the other person should be down with it. It's about pleasing each other isn't it? I don't see anything wrong with anal. The other experiment I wanted to try, I could understand, but my thing is, if you've never tried it how do you know it's foul as hell?

Iota Man 05-18-2012 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146712)
As a Words of Affirmation guy (

LOL @ this mofo.

Iota Man 05-18-2012 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146741)
I'm not impressed with gifts or money.

What if dude was broke as hell, would you fuck with him?

amIblue? 05-18-2012 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146940)
Last night I was talking to my girl about switching it up a little. Different positions are cool, but I like to try new things/new ways. What's foul as hell is I wanted to try anal, and some other freaky shit I won't post about, because folks on here might not be feeling me with it. She rejected both of my requests. I think when two people are in a relationship, and one person wants to try some new shit, the other person should be down with it. It's about pleasing each other isn't it? I don't see anything wrong with anal. The other experiment I wanted to try, I could understand, but my thing is, if you've never tried it how do you know it's foul as hell?

The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.

AGDee 05-18-2012 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146849)
...I had to re-read this sentence again, slowly. Initially, I was like "wow, AGDee is gettin' it in." LOL

Yeah, well, I thought they were leaving for Five Guys (Hamburgers, Tony, hamburgers..lol) at 11:30 and I was away from my desk until 11:25. I checked Work Guy's desk and he was gone. I went to see if another co-worker who was supposed to go had left yet and he was at his desk. I asked if he was going to Five Guys and he said no, he couldn't go after all. So, well, they had left.

Ran into Work Guy at the elevators at quitting time and he said "You were supposed to go to lunch with us today, weren't you?" and I told him "Yeah, but I missed you guys." and asked him how it was. He said he could feel his arteries clogging already and said "next time." Still don't know if he's married.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2146943)
What if dude was broke as hell, would you fuck with him?

I want him to be self sufficient because I'm certainly not going to support him, but he doesn't have to take me to expensive places or buy me gifts. He does need to be supporting himself but I don't expect him to support me, financially. If "broke as hell" means homeless or living with his parents, then I'm not interested. He has other things to worry about before engaging in a relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue? (Post 2146958)
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.

Agreed.

AlphaFrog 05-18-2012 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue? (Post 2146958)
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.

This. It's not like the guy is being asked to do anything potentially uncomfortable in this situation - unless you're planning on playing both ways. Otherwise, most of us women have done the virginity thing once and aren't in a hurry to repeat that performance.

AGDee 05-18-2012 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 2146963)
This. It's not like the guy is being asked to do anything potentially uncomfortable in this situation - unless you're planning on playing both ways. Otherwise, most of us women have done the virginity thing once and aren't in a hurry to repeat that performance.

I would bet that most men who want women to do this are also adamant that theirs is "exit only".

Tulip86 05-18-2012 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue? (Post 2146958)
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that.

Absolutely!

33girl 05-18-2012 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146973)
I would bet that most men who want women to do this are also adamant that theirs is "exit only".

Exactly what I was going to say. I'm sure if she got a dildo or anything phallic anywhere NEAR there he'd literally be running out the door.

On another note...

How do you tell a friend-acquaintance (i.e. not a friend that you have full disclosure with) that she REALLY needs to stop talking about her breakup because it's making her look uber bitter.

christiangirl 05-18-2012 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06 (Post 2146712)
What have/had you found to be the biggest diffrentiators in the 5LLs for Singles? particularly regarding friendships? (I've not read any of GC's spin-off books, so I'm interested if his basic "language theories" hold or if he has other views on other types of relationships?)

I'd have to dig it out to get more specific but the main thing was it wasn't about romantic relationships. :p The scenarios weren't constantly "With you boyfriend...with your spouse..." They were actually things I could relate to like talking with my mom, my cousin, my best male friend, etc. The basic principles were the same but the examples were more oriented to me as a person rather than me as an SO.
Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146973)
I would bet that most men who want women to do this are also adamant that theirs is "exit only".

Right? That was my question--if she wanted to reverse it and go up your butt with a strap-on, would you do it without hesitating because it's about pleasing the other person? I don't know, you might, but I'm betting most people would at least hesitate.

Iota Man 05-18-2012 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue? (Post 2146958)
The flip side of your thought is that if you're in a relationship, and something makes you uncomfortable, your partner should respect that. Also, I'm pretty sure that anal sex is one of those things that you don't have to try to see if you like it. It's not like a weird casserole your mom made for dinner.

I feel you, but I'm saying at least try it first, then decide if you like it or not. If we tried it and she told me she didn't like it then I'd be like "Bet" we ain't gotta do it. You feel me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 2146962)
I want him to be self sufficient because I'm certainly not going to support him, but he doesn't have to take me to expensive places or buy me gifts. He does need to be supporting himself but I don't expect him to support me, financially. If "broke as hell" means homeless or living with his parents, then I'm not interested. He has other things to worry about before engaging in a relationship.

Okay I feel you. Broke as hell meaning dude just doesn't make much money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2147018)
Exactly what I was going to say. I'm sure if she got a dildo or anything phallic anywhere NEAR there he'd literally be running out the door.

CTFU! This is some funny ass shit. That's different, though. The female is supposed to be the one in that position with that ass in the air, not dude. Hell to the naw on that shit. I'm not letting nobody put anything up my ass unless it's some medical shit from the doctor. Other than that, hell naw LOL! Y'all GC females are crazier than hell LOL. Y'all like being the dude in the relationship. That would be like the female slapping the dude's ass telling dude to scream out "Who's ya mamma?" That's that pegging shit. LOL fuck that.

AGDee 05-19-2012 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iota Man (Post 2147032)
I'm not letting nobody put anything up my ass unless it's some medical shit from the doctor.

That body part has the same purpose on people of both genders. There is no difference. If you feel that way, then why can't you respect that she would feel that way? You think that part is built differently on us than on men? It isn't.


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