My husband and I have different memories of our first meet.

Husband's story: His junior (my sophomore) year of college, Sigma Kappa and Sigma Phi Epsilon were paired for homecoming. Since I was a dance major, I was in-charge of choreographing the lip-sync. Apparently we talked one day during practice (I have no memory of this, but it is likely that we did meet then). Outfit: sports bra and short shorts.

My story: Same year, a few months later. I was on the dance team and we were getting ready for our annual guy/girl routine. A junior invited him and we got paired for a few seconds of the dance. I noticed he kind of bad, so I offered to help him before the next practice (he later admitted that he was faking his bad dancing on purpose hoping I would offer to help him). I helped him later that night and it basically was like a scene out of step-up (this was years before the movie came out). Outfit: pretty much the same as before but with jazz shoes this time.

The night of the game we preformed the guy/girl dance he asked me out! And we've been together ever since.

Give them a little time to warm up to her. Having seen this kind of thing before, they usually do (especially after about 5 of their dates spend more time giggling together than paying attention to them).

Does anyone have any old pictures of IowaHawkeye's sister? ;)

They've known her for awhile so I'm not sure they'll warm up if they haven't already. I've tried asking them calmly and objectively to explain why they're so opposed to her and the only somewhat-logical answer I've gotten is that, because she was a new member of a sorority a year ago and got depledged, there might be some friction between her and other guys' dates. I concede that this is a reasonable argument but all indications I've seen seem to point toward there not being any hard feelings. One of her best friends (and also a really good friend of mine) is in her old sorority and is the person who introduced us.

What really bothers me about this whole situation though is how out of hand its gotten. If they had been civil and said "we would prefer if you didn't bring Suzy Snowflake to Formal because of Reasons X, Y and Z, but we respect your choice in any case" then I may have been more inclined to listen to their arguments and try to address the issues in a manner that would work out for everyone. Instead, what I got was "she is absolutely not coming to our Formal and I've got 61 other brothers who will sign off on that, so if you want to bring her you're not coming."

:)

You're wrong. Just plain wrongess on a silver platter. Lolz though for real. :D

Don't make me laugh. It makes me miss you and the way you looked at me.

I just got home from watching TV with the girls and it was almost a fiasco. We watch Grey's and other Thursday night shows together sometimes as a "girls' night." We go to Girl #1's house and I always drive.

Girl #1 is very close to Girl #2 and I'm mildly close to them both. Girl #1 lives in a house with boyfriend and bf's friend, both of whom came home during the show. Girl #2 has a thing for bf's friend. So while we're watching TV, the two of them disappear for a significant amount of time. After awhile, I'm falling asleep (only got 45 mins of sleep last night) and I'm ready to come home. Girl #1 tells me Girl #2 (who rode with me) is upstairs holed up with bf's friend and we probably aren't leaving tonight--Girl #2 really thought I was going to be cool with just spending the night on the couch and we'd leave in the morning. :mad: I politely told Girl #1 that Girl #2 is mistaken, I have work in the morning and cannot stay; however, my eyes very clearly sprinkled some 4-letter words into that statement so Girl #1 hurried upstairs and told her friend I'm not down with the couch plan and I'm nearly ready to go. So as not to look like a total a-hole, I waited another half hour so they could "finish" and Girl #2 comes bounding downstairs with her hair a wreck and her t-shirt ripped while bf's friend is in completely different clothes.

:rolleyes:

Good night, GC. I'm tired.

I went to the bday party of my friend's little sister. While there, friend was asking me about if I was dating/seeing anyone/single, since we hadn't seen each other since MIDDLE SCHOOL (she found me on fb recently and wanted to reconnect). I told her my dating woes and she said..."you should try online dating. That is where I met [insert bf's name]." Apparently they met on PofF, and she was giving me 'tips' on online dating.

We were talking about how its hard being set up by friends b/c what happens if it doesn't work out...yada yada...and then she says "oh i have a friend you should meet." :rolleyes: What happened to us talking about how we don't like being set up by friends?! lol

I'm single again and hating it.

Apparently I never learn. I believe I'll be meeting someone for dinner this week.

they were doing the most for some peen. damn.



we'll be waiting for the saga. :)

I closed my account last week after getting a message to the effect of "Hey Moms, wassup we gon do dis thang or wat?"

Yes, delete account seemed like a pretty good idea. Almost every message I've gotten this year has been that bad or close to it, except the guy I met in January.


ETA: Hahahaha and speaking of Mr. January....he just popped up in my IM. He must've known I was talking about him. ;)

I really enjoy his sense of humor from our conversations so far... we'll see. If there is no chemistry, I could see being good friends with guy.

My girlfriend and I realized our anniversary is Talk Like a Pirate Day.

http://i54.tinypic.com/vgske9.gif

Our collective faces when we realized that.

My heart breaks a little when live-in has to stay up late and study all night (and looks like all week) for his certifications. More so that he's doing it for our future together, mostly. I don't even know how we used to do this in college... He's switched to coffee now.

Claps for this post. I get the same thing. I'm personally a healthier being if I have my own space, friends, activities, and interests. He's the same way. Some people don't need that. Cool. Just don't assume I'm not actually happy with my SO or that he isn't happy with me. I would have dumped him a long time ago if I were bored or unhappy and I have no doubt he'd do the same.

douchebag/love-of-my-life boyfriend of 2 years dumped me on saturday. went to school 700 miles from home last year, he missed me every second & cried for me to come back. I transferred to a school closer to home (not for him) and 2 weeks ago he asked for space. now we're over. about to go give him back the diamond necklace & promise ring (ha). so snaps for that. he wants to be just friends. like legitimately, it's not even a clean break, now we're friends. so he's gonna make this a long slow death.. ugh. "I'm not bitter... I'm mad as hell."

He's not the boss of you. If you don't want to be friends, don't be friends.

:D I watched that for the kazillionth time this past weekend.

I want the old us back. If starting over as friends helps, then ok. But if we've really changed and can't even stay friends, then we'll be over. Either way, this is the hard part but I guess it only gets better.

It only gets better but not necessarily for you as a couple.

My advice is to not be friends if you're primarily doing it to keep track of him and keep him in your life with hopes for a reconciliation. Your great expectations can make you end up as one of those bitter exes who can't move on and get a life; and acts crazy when your ex moves on with his life.

That's just my advice, it isn't 100%. I'm sure you'll do what works for YOU (only for YOU, not for him).

Disclaimer: I'm from the "closed doors," "move on with your life," and "I have enough friends" schools of thought. :D I tried the just friends route once in college and I was reminded of how that potentially breeds "crazy beyotches."

ETA: And there's a difference between friends and acquaintances. Acquaintances are cool, cordial, and see each other out and about sometimes or occasionally talk on the phone. Nothing intense and not rehashing the past. Friends are friends and just friends doesn't work when you're in love with someone.

Uh, just a note: Living together DOES NOT mean "pretty much married." Source: My life for the last 2 years.

Ahhhhhh. Hate that. I moved in across the hall from the SO that I was planning on marrying (we'd discussed it, set a time line, he'd looked at rings, etc.) because I needed a place at the last minute. I thought it would be all cozy and fun. It was a nightmare, and I learned that I want space until/if I'm married. I've got plenty of time to share a room and bed, and I am not interested in that any time soon. We fell apart quickly and granted there were certainly other problems in the relationship, but the fact that we essentially lived together (I had basically moved into his apartment, but had mine since my parents wouldn't pay rent if I lived with a man) brought the death of the relationship around SO much faster and made it MUCH less pretty than it could have been. Never again. And for some reason so many of my friends do not understand this. Drives me NUTS. It's come up constantly lately because I've been looking for a roomate for next year and it seems everyone suggests, "Move in with SO". I DON'T WANT TO. (For that matter, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be the least bit interested either...we both like space at this point in life.)


Yep, I second this. I'm all about admitting mistakes, and I've been that crazy bitch...which all stemmed from trying to be friends. It just seems when one person still wants to date the other, there's just no way to be objective.

PS-Jewelry can make you some money on Ebay. ;) I tell men I date not to buy me expensive jewelry unless they're going to propose, because when we break up, it ends up on Ebay.

Yep and then you end up sugar coating and explaining your lives to each other which platonic friends don't do. Honestly, the only kind of JUST friendship there is is platonic friendship and I wish people understood that. Men and women can be the best of friends (and so can exes when one or both aren't in love with the other) but if it isn't platonic, it isn't JUST a friendship.

Wise woman! :)

Exactly. I'm friends with a couple of exes, but only after we completely removed each other from our lives for a period (whether they wanted to or not). It hasn't escaped me that I'm friends now only with the exes that I didn't talk to for a period after dating. The ones that I tried to be "friends" with...not so much. Those relationships always seemed to implode fantastically.

Amen. Everyone's different. Living together does not work for me, end of story. Can't that be ok?

A friend suggested that I possibly don't attract men because my default facial expression is "bored." And now its bugging me: everytime I leave the house, I think, "do I look bored? Am I turning off dudes because I don't look like I want to attract them?"

How does one attract w/o looking like they're suggesting more than they want? I know smiling is simple and effective, so...do I walk around with a plastered smile on my face? I probably look nuts.

Not necessarily although some people walk around smiling even when they aren't smiling at people. LOL. Just smile with your eyes and look overall pleasant. It makes people want to talk to you and that's not just about dating. :)

LOL. Always looking bored or tired or angry or BLAH can scare people away.


**Funny story (to me) that has nothing to do with dating. Years ago, my significant other and I were at a store stuck with the annoying task of finding food to cook for family members. I was super annoyed for a number of reasons and it was written all over my face like The Rude Boys. Some man was cheerfully walking around the store with his wife. They were having a good time finding whatever hilarious. It was silly, but I was so annoyed to see this random dude in such a good mood that when he cheerfully smiled at me I just gave him an evil glare. LOL. His smile quickly left and he quickly turned his back to me. Maybe he thought I was going to attack him. LOL. I usually smile at people even when they don't smile first or don't smile back at me. I just was too pissed to do that at that time. :o

Ok, this smizing sh*t. I've practiced the heck out of this concept. I don't know if I'm doing it right. I always look like I'm super surprised or glaring.

Is "smizing" some ANTM concept? LOL.

Smiling with your eyes is something that I've noticed since I was a kid. Some people have miserable eyes and some people have happy eyes. Happy eyes are a window to your happy soul--despite the fact that you're not always in a good mood.

^^^ ok, fair enough. And I agree w/ you-some people do have miserable eyes. I hope I don't have them.

I think my eyes just look tired and stressed. Blah. Gotta work on this.

I want happy eyes dammit! *stomps feet*

I have some suggestions, but y'all probably won't like them :(

#BensonsOnTheBrain

Lmao, lord.

Fair assessment. Smiling w/ my eyes is pointless when I can smile w/ my DD(D)s.

#imdoingitwrong

"Practicing" smiling with your eyes is probably not the best use of time - people have a much keener sense of when a smile is real or "natural" (and often because of the eyes) than they do with nearly any other non-verbal communication tic (for example, lie detection). Also (and related), it's hard as balls to fake.

So yeah - you're practicing a.) looking fake and/or b.) failing miserably anyway. Work on being happy and healthy, and that'll help you look happy and healthy.

That said, many women do have "approachability issues" - but those can be softened through very simple things like wardrobe, choice of associations, or even where you're sitting (very hard to talk to the inside person at a booth, no?). It's Reverse Tommy Boy: it's not your face. It's everything else.

Sorry to backtrack.. I have plenty of friends who spent years getting over their exes because they were friends after dating and the girl was the one still in love. I don't think that's my case. He feels like we still love each other but we don't really like each other that much anymore (lol.. like we get on each other's nerves and are way harsh on each other) so we're kind of going back and working on that before we get into the whole serious committed thing again. And I gave back the jewelry. It was just fair. He said I could keep it, and I said he could give it back when he meant it again. He said he had no intention of getting rid of it or anything. I really do think we will end up back together and that he's making an effort to work through this.

PS: I KNOW I sound like a desperate girl blinded by love.. Y'all are just gonna have to trust me when I say I take care of myself and know when to walk away. I know when to fight too, and it may change in the future, but at least for now I see something worth fighting for.

Also, I look hella pissed off when I'm spacing out. If you find some cure let me know ;)

My situation was the opposite - we still like each other and love each other as friends, we're just not in love. People don't get it and still think we should get back together. People are stupid.

It wouldn't hurt for you guys to maybe have a short "cooling off" time of a couple weeks or so where you don't talk and you just have some space to think about everything.