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-   -   D&R Random (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=65054)

LucyKKG 09-15-2010 01:36 AM
I had a very nice picnic with my boyfriend today. :)

Or more like this :D

Preston327 09-15-2010 02:57 AM
What is it lately with me attracting the crazies with more baggage than a loaded 747 on the New York-Heathrow route? I mean don't get me wrong, I understand everyone has issues and that being supportive is important etc, but there's a limit. I have neither the time nor the professional credentials to help you work through severe abandonment/trust/daddy issues, that's why we have a free counseling center on campus.

christiangirl 09-15-2010 03:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XAntoftheSkyX (Post 1983626)
My my my, all these posts about little ol' me? I'm flattered.
I'm quite certain that very few of those posts were actually about you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Preston327 (Post 1983804)
I mean don't get me wrong, I understand everyone has issues and that being supportive is important etc, but there's a limit. I have neither the time nor the professional credentials to help you work through severe abandonment/trust/daddy issues, that's why we have a free counseling center on campus.
As someone who has daddy issues, I can say that many times "being supportive" means not asking. Of course, this depends if her issues are functional (she can relate to otehr men better than she can with whomever the damage is attributed to) because if she's not, it won't matter. But if she is, you may need a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, at least in the beginning. Let her save the craziness for her inner circle.

Preston327 09-15-2010 03:58 AM
I didn't ask. She gravitated toward me, and within a week of knowing me was spilling her guts about her past and the various screwed up situations she's been in and been through. That in itself was a red flag to me but I decided to ignore it because it seems like she needs a friend, and when she's not freaking out about how men are all untrustworthy/immoral/liars/scum she's a really cool person to hang out with. It's gotten to a point though where I've told her I don't have the resources to help her with the issues she talks to me about; she's a freshman and I told her all about the counseling center but she doesn't want to go, she'd rather tell me everything even though she knows I'm not the most qualified person to help her work through her issues with trusting guys.

christiangirl 09-15-2010 04:25 AM
Aaahhhh yes. She is non-functional. Abort!

Alumiyum 09-15-2010 12:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Preston327 (Post 1983811)
I didn't ask. She gravitated toward me, and within a week of knowing me was spilling her guts about her past and the various screwed up situations she's been in and been through. That in itself was a red flag to me but I decided to ignore it because it seems like she needs a friend, and when she's not freaking out about how men are all untrustworthy/immoral/liars/scum she's a really cool person to hang out with. It's gotten to a point though where I've told her I don't have the resources to help her with the issues she talks to me about; she's a freshman and I told her all about the counseling center but she doesn't want to go, she'd rather tell me everything even though she knows I'm not the most qualified person to help her work through her issues with trusting guys.

Shut it down.

I'm one of those girls that has to concentrate very hard on not letting my past experiences with men color my current ones, but I blame no man for running screaming during those times when I forget to separate. She obviously really needs someone to talk to and hopefully she'll find a new BFF in the coming weeks if she's unwilling to talk to a therapist.

DrPhil 09-15-2010 12:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 1983807)
I'm quite certain that very few of those posts were actually about you.
LOL. I agree.

I don't believe in saving people or sacrificing your own sanity to be their therapist. I agree that he should ABORT MISSION.

Munchkin03 09-15-2010 01:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1983974)

I don't believe in saving people or sacrificing your own sanity to be their therapist. I agree that he should ABORT MISSION.
Yes. This cannot come to any good.

DrPhil 09-15-2010 01:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1983986)
Yes. This cannot come to any good.
I do believe we've had a thread or two about this topic. The need to save people, and the tendency to date people who need help, speaks to you more than it does to them.

Alumiyum 09-15-2010 03:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1983998)
I do believe we've had a thread or two about this topic. The need to save people, and the tendency to date people who need help, speaks to you more than it does to them.
I believe people should be encouraged to be sympathetic, kind, and compassionate, but there's a line between that and acting as a therapist...and it's important to recognize it. Therapy should be left to professionals.

Billy_Optimist 09-16-2010 12:44 PM
:(

christianboy 09-16-2010 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_Optimist (Post 1984431)
I love you.

I always have, and I always will.

When I saw you last I was wrong. I was still on the meds for depression. I’m sorry, so sorry for what I put you through. I’m sorry, for becoming one of the jerks who hurt you. Who walked out on you when you needed him to stay. Who got scared and put his own feelings ahead of yours. I would say that I feel like, not only am I the dumbest motherfucker alive for loosing you as my girlfriend, I feel like I lost my best friend. Without you, my life doesn’t feel like my own. It’s like I’m walking through shadows, trying to reach out for the only person who ever really cared. I prayed for you to come back into my life, and when I got the chance, I blew it.

Every morning I wake up and am confronted by the thought of what I’ve done. Every night I go to sleep thinking of you, and dreaming the whole evening of your face. Throughout the day my thoughts are distracted, and I can’t even make it five minutes without thinking of you, and what could have been.

And what might still be?

I will never not love you. Your embrace is what I recall when I need to feel, for just a moment, that my life hasn’t been an entire waste.
You are the one woman who made me an optimist, and in my heart remains a glimmer of hope, hope that we will one day be together. I don’t know if this will work, but I really want a second chance. I will never walk away from you again.

I don’t want to bother you, or to make you feel strange.

If this is just the first step, I will understand. I am willing to do anything.

I love you. ACD Needed.
You keep dreaming dude, because I highly doubt the chick you're talking about really ever wanted you in the first place. It's probably some chick you were following around at the mall. I guess posting this shit on GC makes you feel better when you're off the meds.

DrPhil 09-16-2010 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_Optimist (Post 1984431)
:(
WHAT.THEEEEE.FUCK?!

This is like an episode of Intervention.

Alumiyum 09-16-2010 05:47 PM
Mental illness isn't funny, but there's such a thing as personal responsibility. Depression is a chemical imbalance, and if meds are prescribed they should be taken.

This seems like a whole lotta personal emotions. What gives?

XAntoftheSkyX 09-16-2010 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1984609)
Mental illness isn't funny, but there's such a thing as personal responsibility. Depression is a chemical imbalance, and if meds are prescribed they should be taken.
True, but medication isn't the best/final answer. While I was on medication for depression, it did it's job and I didn't become depressed. At the same time however, I lost emotions of any extreme variety. Sadness, fear, hate, joy, lust, all of it was gone and I felt like a robot. I found alternate ways to deal with my depression without medication.

http://i51.tinypic.com/dpefiu.png
My face when I'm off meds and doing okay.

Alumiyum 09-16-2010 06:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XAntoftheSkyX (Post 1984618)
True, but medication isn't the best/final answer. While I was on medication for depression, it did it's job and I didn't become depressed. At the same time however, I lost emotions of any extreme variety. Sadness, fear, hate, joy, lust, all of it was gone and I felt like a robot. I found alternate ways to deal with my depression without medication.

http://i51.tinypic.com/dpefiu.png
My face when I'm off meds and doing okay.
Yes, there are plenty of ways to deal with depression besides medication, but under the care of a doctor. If a patient wants to go off the meds it needs to be a joint decision and needs to be done correctly.

PeppyGPhiB 09-16-2010 06:40 PM
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...aLo2QlKzCyu60=

Drolefille 09-16-2010 06:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XAntoftheSkyX (Post 1984618)
True, but medication isn't the best/final answer. While I was on medication for depression, it did it's job and I didn't become depressed. At the same time however, I lost emotions of any extreme variety. Sadness, fear, hate, joy, lust, all of it was gone and I felt like a robot. I found alternate ways to deal with my depression without medication.

My face when I'm off meds and doing okay.
Very true, though meds are a part of it for a lot of people. And that's not an uncommon reaction to medication. The tricky part is that when people feel better they stop taking their meds (particularly people with bipolar cycles for multiple reasons) and then they crash, peak, cycle, whatever all over again.

Having the care of a doctor + therapist or other mental health combination is important. Mr. Optimist worries me because I don't think he's using his resources, I think he's posting here instead. But it's up to him to do something about it. Before things get worse. Because really, high on my things I do not want to do list include calling the police because of a GC posting.

/mandated reporter.

Drolefille 09-16-2010 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB (Post 1984633)
Are you being glib?

Munchkin03 09-16-2010 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1984639)
.

Having the care of a doctor + therapist or other mental health combination is important. Mr. Optimist worries me because I don't think he's using his resources, I think he's posting here instead. But it's up to him to do something about it. Before things get worse. Because really, high on my things I do not want to do list include calling the police because of a GC posting.

/mandated reporter.
Yes, thank you.

Six years ago this month, one of my closest girlfriends from college killed herself. Afterwards, according to her parents, it became apparent that she had stopped taking her meds. She was bipolar and was on a medicine that evened out her mood, but had a lot of other unpleasant side effects. For whatever reason at that time, instead of talking to her psychiatrist about adjusting the medications (she was very open about being bipolar and seeing a psychiatrist, even in college), she just went off of them. That is far, far worse. Even if she really really wanted to stop taking them, going through that with a doctor (and tapering down instead of cold turkey) would have been much better. She might still be alive.

I just really hope he's taking advantage of the right resources.

DrPhil 09-16-2010 11:06 PM
This thread has taken a turn, but with how the Internet has taken over many people's realities, I want to highlight that GC and other social message boards (versus physical and mental health boards that have doctors on them) are not for:

1. Crying out about emotional or physical abuse.
2. Crying out about not taking your meds.
3. Crying out because you are depressed, etc. and need to be put on meds.
4. Crying out about what to wear for membership intake---I keeed, I keeeed. ;)

Speak to someone, family, a mental health professional or police, and get help. Usernames' really serious life circumstances are not what we're here for.

dreamseeker 09-16-2010 11:31 PM
yeah, i'm kinda sad that the thread got to this point.

DrPhil 09-17-2010 01:55 AM
Back to dating and relationships.

These songs say it all. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ZUUOfDmLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzWIDkUsTa0&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR-e5...eature=related
(although he tricked us and really wrote this for his daughter)

KSig RC 09-17-2010 02:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1984779)
Back to dating and relationships.

These songs say it all. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ZUUOfDmLk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzWIDkUsTa0&ob=av2e

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR-e5...eature=related
(although he tricked us and really wrote this for his daughter)
Bwuh? Very mediocre.

Instead:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiLqAu4s-_s

DrPhil 09-17-2010 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSig RC (Post 1984782)
Bwuh? Very mediocre.

Instead:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiLqAu4s-_s
LOL. I hate you for that photo. Good song but is your love life in a merry-go-round?

Better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc7b62El_fk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6U-TGahwvs

christiangirl 09-17-2010 04:05 AM
I wish someone would play this for me. :o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgCv-qrlRrI

The fact that he doesn't try too hard is very appealing. He does what I like and lets me approach at my leisure. I do like walking toward bait at my own pace....but I could do without wondering if I'm walking into a relationship or a trap.

KSig RC 09-17-2010 02:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1984793)
These both work.

dreamseeker 09-17-2010 11:30 PM
i wish that ppl would stop FUCKING asking me when i'm getting married. damn!
i normallygive the standard answer of idk, or not on my list of priorities and that does this trick, but apparently not for this person, because the next thing out of her damn mouth is this:

[dreamseeker], i need a damn wedding to attend so better put it somewhere on that priority list
y'all been going out for a min

SO THE FUCK WHAT?!

someone plz help me come up with mildly rude and off putting answers because i'm so fed up of this shit. :mad:

/rant

on an unrelated and calmer (lol) note....he knows how to make everything ok :)

Alumiyum 09-18-2010 08:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamseeker (Post 1985083)
i wish that ppl would stop FUCKING asking me when i'm getting married. damn!
i normallygive the standard answer of idk, or not on my list of priorities and that does this trick, but apparently not for this person, because the next thing out of her damn mouth is this:

[dreamseeker], i need a damn wedding to attend so better put it somewhere on that priority list
y'all been going out for a min

SO THE FUCK WHAT?!

someone plz help me come up with mildly rude and off putting answers because i'm so fed up of this shit. :mad:

/rant

on an unrelated and calmer (lol) note....he knows how to make everything ok :)
I get that, and it drives me up the wall. People who ask that question in the first place don't know how to respond to my answer, which is, "Not any time soon. That is not something I'm interested in right now." One day, sure, I'd like to get married, but why does it have to be NOW?

agzg 09-18-2010 11:41 AM
I usually say "it's easier and less expensive to move out and break up when we're not married."

Of course, that backfired when a VP in my department said "I've left my fair share of husbands, I don't think it's very hard." :eek:

christiangirl 09-18-2010 04:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by agzg (Post 1985149)
I usually say "it's easier and less expensive to move out and break up when we're not married."

Of course, that backfired when a VP in my department said "I've left my fair share of husbands, I don't think it's very hard." :eek:
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house." ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Smile_Awhile 09-18-2010 04:50 PM
You know how you have those times where you're not sure a relationship is worth it, or that the other person cares? I've been having a few too many of those days lately. But the past two nights- a beautiful reminder of why we got together and why we're still together.

AGDee 09-19-2010 01:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamseeker (Post 1985083)

[dreamseeker], i need a damn wedding to attend so better put it somewhere on that priority list
y'all been going out for a min

SO THE FUCK WHAT?!

someone plz help me come up with mildly rude and off putting answers because i'm so fed up of this shit. :mad:

/rant

on an unrelated and calmer (lol) note....he knows how to make everything ok :)
How about : Is that an offer to pay for my wedding?

dreamseeker 09-19-2010 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile (Post 1985199)
You know how you have those times where you're not sure a relationship is worth it, or that the other person cares? I've been having a few too many of those days lately. But the past two nights- a beautiful reminder of why we got together and why we're still together.
if you suck at looking at the big picture, that could be why. that's my downfall.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 1985310)
How about : Is that an offer to pay for my wedding?
yes!!! i think this is a suitable comeback for me to use. :D

p.s. i'm glad that no one here was all bitter and told me i should be glad that ppl think my bf and i should be married. :rolleyes:

christiangirl 09-19-2010 02:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamseeker (Post 1985316)
p.s. i'm glad that no one here was all bitter and told me i should be glad that ppl think my bf and i should be married. :rolleyes:
You know us. We're not that happy and shiny around here.

BTW Our friend and I are going to the movies. Not because it's a "date" but because his movie buddy backed out on him and he really wants to see this movie tonight. My allowing him the pleasure of my company would be a favor to him, nothing more. Uh huh. Right.

This is not a date. We are just friends.

/convincing myself

dreamseeker 09-19-2010 03:00 AM
^^ girl you are SO in quicksand right now. unicorn quicksand. LOL

christiangirl 09-19-2010 06:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamseeker (Post 1985325)
^^ girl you are SO in quicksand right now. unicorn quicksand. LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R5NQPdi42w

;)

XAntoftheSkyX 09-19-2010 07:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by christiangirl (Post 1985343)
That's been stuck in my head ALL DAMN WEEK.

agzg 09-19-2010 10:05 PM
One flash of those big blue eyes, and I'm done. Game, set, match.

Munchkin03 09-20-2010 10:48 AM
My wedding freak friend (WFF) is at it again!

Most of our group was out of state for a wedding this weekend...the couple is awesome, we love them, it's all good.

We were trying hard to mingle with the bride's family--we know the groom's family pretty well since they live around here. One of my friends was talking with the bride's cousin about marathoning. WFF pulls my friend aside to let her know that the cousin is married..."just being a friend." My friend is like, WTF you freak, we were talking about running! I wonder what she would think if she found out that I sat and watched the football game with the bride's dad--am I a man-stealing hussy? :rolleyes:

She thinks that everyone else feels the way she does, that having a boyfriend is the end-all and be-all of life. No, some of us talk to men just to TALK and be social.

WFF was also discussing seating charts, and how she's thought about them for her wedding. Seriously? She is so single, even though she doesn't want to be. She spazzed out because one of her co-workers (at a giant law firm) showed up as a potential match on eHarmony. She's clearly embarrassed about online dating and I'm sure it shows on the dates.

Even after my romantic drama of the past summer, I was still grateful that I wasn't WFF. That's how bad she is. She's turning 30 in February and I think she's going to die. I need to stay away from the carnage.


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