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KDLady12467890 11-06-2017 03:49 PM

Work or Sorority?
 
I got a new job this past week and my sorority is basically making me choose between them and my job.
I need advice on what to do.
Okay so I got hired Wednesday and at where I work they make it a requirement for everyone to work Friday-Sunday and the position I got hired for/the only opening position was the dinner shift which is like 4pm-9pm.
Well on Sundays I have Sunday meetings with my sorority. I told my sorority that I got a new job and was unable to attend Sunday meetings because I have to work and they said if I miss one Sunday meeting I'll be put in bad standing for the rest of the semester, can't go to formal (even though I just dropped a hell of a lot of money on a dress for it) or any mixers, and I'll have to pay a fine.
But get this: my previous job was at a haunted house that required me to work Sundays and they always excused me from going to meetings so how is this job any different?
Please give me some advice I don't know what to do. I'm having to either choose to drop Kappa Delta or quit my job, which took me MONTHS to find, works PERFECT with my college schedule AND I make a lot of money at where I work now, and I really need as much money as I can get at the moment. Plus even if I found another job, I'd have to send in a two week notice which would still have me miss the next two chapter meetings, putting me on bad standing, and having to pay a huge fine.

Kevin 11-06-2017 04:21 PM

Quit the job. You say it's a perfect job, but it's obviously not a perfect job. See if you can get a sister to give you a reference at someplace they're working. I worked a retail job in my active years. That meant I didn't participate in a lot of weekend activities. I regret that and wish I could have it to do over again because i would have worked a lot less.

Sciencewoman 11-06-2017 05:29 PM

They probably excused you for the haunted house job because it was a short-term Halloween gig. Now you've replaced it with a job that will require a consistent absence from meetings, and they're letting you know that's not going to fly. I agree with Kevin -- sisters find sisters jobs at their places of employment all the time. Also, you don't owe 2 weeks notice to a job you just started; just tell them the schedule doesn't work with your previous obligations.

Kevin 11-06-2017 05:55 PM

Right. If you just started, you aren't going to list them as a reference anyhow. And you're young, so no one will question gaps in employment.

PhilTau 11-06-2017 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890 (Post 2446584)
Okay so I got hired Wednesday and at where I work they make it a requirement for everyone to work Friday-Sunday and the position I got hired for/the only opening position was the dinner shift which is like 4pm-9pm.

It sounds like your new job is at a pancake house. Is it worth sacrificing your sorority for? Find a job that fits better with the commitment you made when you joined your sorority. Remember - there will always be better jobs out there.

If at all possible, try to avoid working while an undergraduate, unless it is school-related (e.g., library staff, resident assistant, research assistant, etc.). For most people, normal work is too distracting if they are trying to go to school full time.

thetalady 11-06-2017 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890 (Post 2446584)
I got a new job this past week and my sorority is basically making me choose between them and my job.
I need advice on what to do.
Okay so I got hired Wednesday and at where I work they make it a requirement for everyone to work Friday-Sunday and the position I got hired for/the only opening position was the dinner shift which is like 4pm-9pm.
Well on Sundays I have Sunday meetings with my sorority. I told my sorority that I got a new job and was unable to attend Sunday meetings because I have to work and they said if I miss one Sunday meeting I'll be put in bad standing for the rest of the semester, can't go to formal (even though I just dropped a hell of a lot of money on a dress for it) or any mixers, and I'll have to pay a fine.
But get this: my previous job was at a haunted house that required me to work Sundays and they always excused me from going to meetings so how is this job any different?
Please give me some advice I don't know what to do. I'm having to either choose to drop Kappa Delta or quit my job, which took me MONTHS to find, works PERFECT with my college schedule AND I make a lot of money at where I work now, and I really need as much money as I can get at the moment. Plus even if I found another job, I'd have to send in a two week notice which would still have me miss the next two chapter meetings, putting me on bad standing, and having to pay a huge fine.

Does your membership and commitment to your sorority really mean that little to you? I can't imagine a restaurant server job being more important to me than my sisters.... I honestly don't understand why you even took a job that conflicted with standing chapter meeting. The choice is yours.

FSUZeta 11-06-2017 08:22 PM

How could you attend formal if you have to work every weekend?

navane 11-06-2017 10:43 PM

College waitress/server/restaurant job that no one will remember or care about vs. lifetime membership in my sorority

GammaGirl1908 11-07-2017 05:03 AM

Agree with others — put some effort into finding another job. I fully support working while in school, because you need a resume and experience and skills when you graduate, but work comes after your schoolwork and school obligations (school obligations can go on your resume as well). Chapter meeting is one of the latter, now that you’ve committed to your sorority. Furthermore, restaurants are everywhere. You can work in a restaurant without it being THIS restaurant. You likely can find one with different schedule requirements.

I had on-campus jobs while in school that I could bend around my schedule. I often even had several at a time. They paid a bit less, but I never had to worry about missing classes or events. Not right for everyone, but something to consider.

(Note: my answer might be somewhat different if you were asking whether to join a sorority in the first place, given that you might need to devote a lot of time to working while in school. Sorority membership generally is a luxury, while work is not always a luxury. But you’ve committed to the organization now, so...)

KDLady12467890 11-07-2017 12:57 PM

yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

wsucalsigmakapp 11-07-2017 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890 (Post 2446668)
yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

Sounds like you already have your mind made up, if you hate it, drop. Not sure why you asked?

ASTalumna06 11-07-2017 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890 (Post 2446668)
yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.

Woah, wait... what? We didn't understand that you hate KD because you never told us that.

Why is this even a concern for you? You've clearly made up your mind as to what's a top priority and what takes a back seat in your life.

BossLadyAKA 11-07-2017 02:34 PM

LOL, Girl - What?

It looks like you posted your question with an agenda in mind. If you're not committed to your organization - resign. If you'd like to maintain affiliation, perhaps look into whether your organization allows you to take a semester hiatus, or go early alum (I'm only passingly familiar with NPC rules).

Don't, however, use having a job as a mask for what appear to be your true and underlying issues with the sorority. As an adult, hiding behind excuses is never a viable means to an end.

"Excuses are tools of incompetence..."
Quote:

Originally Posted by KDLady12467890 (Post 2446668)
yall literally don't understand how much i hate kd. like, i've been here for a year and a half and my only "friend" in this sorority is my big.


Kevin 11-07-2017 02:44 PM

I am not sure why someone goes through the effort of creating an account and writing an OP leaving out a major factor in that she hates her organization. Hate is a choice. Not making friends when you have so many people who would be open to being friends with you is also a choice. She could choose to reach out and really try to connect with her sisters or even wait for the next crop of new members.

Just understand that: membership is for life, you are giving up on the possibility of having family members (legacies, be they daughters, granddaughters, (YMMV from group to group) and you're giving up on the entire alumnae experience. It's all a choice. You're not going to find many of us here on Greekchat who are going to tell you choosing some job waiting tables over the entire Greek experience is a solid choice.

panhelrose 11-07-2017 02:48 PM

I agree with the above posters. While having a job may be important (at my university, almost everyone has a job/internship/volunteer work they do, and it's something we encourage with our membership), it's important to approach this decision with honesty. If your debate is between being able to afford your membership versus being able to attend chapter, I know for a fact that your treasurer can help you with a payment plan, and next semester you could apply for Emergency Financial Member Status. However, if you've been in the chapter for nearly two years, you 1. know the financial obligations 2. know the time commitment and 3. should reevaluate why you have no friends in the chapter. Being a member of any organization is a two way street - you get out of it what you put into it. You can't blame the organization as a whole if you don't have any friends unless you take an honest look at why that might be. If you're walking around with an "I hate my chapter" attitude, your sisters will notice. If you're not reaching out to girls to hang out or attending events, you'll never make any friends.

At the end of the day, it seems you've made up your mind and were hoping for us to validate your decision. Honestly, and this may be harsh, but I support your decision to drop if you really feel this negatively about being a member, because you'll only bring the group down.


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