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-   -   Who do you talk to if you feel like you might need to drop? (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=234496)

HappyMom2 09-07-2017 04:10 PM

Who do you talk to if you feel like you might need to drop?
 
Is there a position within a sorority that handles this? My daughter has so many tests and papers coming up, but her sorority has events planned nearly every day. With it being the beginning of the year, they have big/little reveal, chapter meeting, new member education, an exchange, step show practice, sisterhood retreat, etc. all this week and she doesn't know when she can find time for homework or studying. The exchange is the only event that isn't required of those listed. She knew a sorority would be a time commitment and she is used to being busy, but this is more than she expected. I am thinking there has to be someone in the sorority for her to talk to about needing time for schoolwork instead of having to just drop the sorority altogether. Do you know who that would be?

KSUViolet06 09-07-2017 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMom2 (Post 2440885)
Is there a position within a sorority that handles this? My daughter has so many tests and papers coming up, but her sorority has events planned nearly every day. With it being the beginning of the year, they have big/little reveal, chapter meeting, new member education, an exchange, step show practice, sisterhood retreat, etc. all this week and she doesn't know when she can find time for homework or studying. The exchange is the only event that isn't required of those listed. She knew a sorority would be a time commitment and she is used to being busy, but this is more than she expected. I am thinking there has to be someone in the sorority for her to talk to about needing time for schoolwork instead of having to just drop the sorority altogether. Do you know who that would be?


The VP of NM Education or whichever officer works with the new members through their education period. She is used to women coming to her in those first few weeks super overwhelmed and will be able to talk her through it.

With that being said, you can't just walk up to your NM Educator and tell her "I can't come to this. I have school."

Some advice:

1. Part of their education period is being in community with other NMs who are going through the same thing, too. They can form study groups, have study dates, link up with women who are taking same classes, etc. I'd suggest that.

2. Your planner is your friend. Use it. If you know that project is due 3 weeks from now, look at your planner and see best times to work on it now. Ex: If project is due during Big Little Week, work on it now.

3. Know when to say no. Ex: If a bunch of girls are going to Starbucks, or going out, or going to the house to hang, you need not go every time if you know you have school stuff to do.






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HappyMom2 09-07-2017 05:15 PM

Thank you. I really don't want her to have to give it up when she is starting to really enjoy it. Her biggest time issue with school is a 5 hour calculus class. She has that class every day and homework every day. I think this particular week is just excessively busy with the sorority and not the norm. I'm glad grades are her priority, but I'd love for her to get to continue with the sorority!

ASTalumna06 09-07-2017 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2440887)

The VP of NM Education or whichever officer works with the new members through their education period. She is used to women coming to her in those first few weeks super overwhelmed and will be able to talk her through it.

With that being said, you can't just walk up to your NM Educator and tell her "I can't come to this. I have school."

Some advice:

1. Part of their education period is being in community with other NMs who are going through the same thing, too. They can form study groups, have study dates, link up with women who are taking same classes, etc. I'd suggest that.

2. Your planner is your friend. Use it. If you know that project is due 3 weeks from now, look at your planner and see best times to work on it now. Ex: If project is due during Big Little Week, work on it now.

3. Know when to say no. Ex: If a bunch of girls are going to Starbucks, or going out, or going to the house to hang, you need not go every time if you know you have school stuff to do.

All of this. She's only what, two weeks into her new member period? She should definitely ask for help. All women in the chapter have school to keep up with, and all of them have had to learn how to manage their time. She's now part of a sisterhood that can assist her through school. She should take advantage of it every chance she gets! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMom2 (Post 2440896)
Thank you. I really don't want her to have to give it up when she is starting to really enjoy it. Her biggest time issue with school is a 5 hour calculus class. She has that class every day and homework every day. I think this particular week is just excessively busy with the sorority and not the norm. I'm glad grades are her priority, but I'd love for her to get to continue with the sorority!

She has a calculus class that meets every day for 5 hours? :confused:

FSUZeta 09-07-2017 05:28 PM

Homework doesn't have to be done only at night, nor does it have to be completed in one sitting. She could work on homework between classes. Time management skills are often refined during freshman year of college. As KSUViolet suggested, I think she needs to speak to the executive officer in charge of new members. She can ease her mind and perhaps give her some study tips.

HappyMom2 09-07-2017 05:55 PM

No, her class is a 5 hour class. One hour every day for a total of 5 hours a week. She gets a 5 hour credit for it. She'll be glad when she's through with that class! He usually makes homework due at midnight and has to be submitted online. She ran out of time the other night and had to submit it unfinished. She is in the Honors college, so her load might be heavier than most, but there are a few other honors college students in her chapter. Her last class ends at 4:30 every day, so she doesn't have much time between classes and sorority activities which begin at 6:00 or 7:00, depending on the night. She has an on campus job that she goes to during any breaks between classes (it's part of her scholarship package). I've asked her not to drop until we have time to talk about it. I appreciate all of your advice! I will ask her to talk to the VP of New Membership. Maybe they can help her. I don't want her to drop and regret it!

ASTalumna06 09-07-2017 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMom2 (Post 2440902)
No, her class is a 5 hour class. One hour every day for a total of 5 hours a week. She gets a 5 hour credit for it. She'll be glad when she's through with that class!

Ha, ok! I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank goodness it's ONLY 5 hours of calculus/week! :)

thetalady 09-07-2017 08:56 PM

Are you SURE that step show thing is required? She really needs to look at what is optional, if she is trying to balance school, work and sorority. How many hours is she taking this semester?

PhilTau 09-07-2017 09:28 PM

Yikes !

5 semester hour class
Honors College
Work/study
Sorority

I was in an undergrad honors program and joined a fraternity, but I did it as a second semester sophomore. Cannot imagine trying to pledge with a job schedule on top of it. A time management plan would help if there was no job involved.

If your daughter is a freshman or is in a hard, time-consuming major (e.g., architecture) - suggest she try to defer the sorority until she has a better handle on what she can commit to time wise. Everybody on here is sincere in trying to help; but if she is overwhelmed now, no matter how smart she is, it will likely just get worse unless a change is made immediately. (I've been there.)

This is also the reason few scholarship athletes in big athletic programs join Greek organizations.

HappyMom2 09-07-2017 09:54 PM

She's taking 15 hours. And no, step show is not required. She tried out for it (a 4 hour audition) and she was so excited to make it! It was competitive. Although she has never actually "stepped" before, dance has been her favorite activity since she was 3 years old. Her senior year of high school, she would spend about 20 hours a week dancing between the school dance team, competition dance, and a ballet company. Sometimes more of her school had a special program she would audition for. She though step show would be a great way she could plug in and contribute to her sorority while doing something she loves. She also thought that would be a good way to meet girls in her sorority who love to dance too!

She is skipping the exchange tonight to do homework. She was really looking forward to it, but she knows she needs to get that homework done. Another midnight deadline!

HappyMom2 09-07-2017 10:11 PM

Can you defer sorority membership after you have been through rush and accepted a bid? She is going to call us tonight after she finishes some of her homework to talk about all of this. She really was getting excited about her sorority after step show auditions, so I hate to see her give it up, especially if this is just an unusually busy week with the sorority.

Titchou 09-07-2017 10:35 PM

She should really talk with the New Member officer OR the Chapter Adviser or Exec/Honor/Standards board---some things can be excused for tests, papers,etc. She probably hasn't gotten to the chapter's standing rules in her training yet so she would not know the process. They all have an excuse process and she needs to ferret that out.

33girl 09-08-2017 12:44 AM

Big/little reveal and sisterhood retreat are only going to happen once during pledging. It just sounds like this is a very action packed week.

DubaiSis 09-08-2017 01:59 AM

These events are not 12 hours long. She can do more than one thing in a day. One of my sisters who was an excellent student said she only did homework during daylight. Presuming she is in class 3 hours per day and the sun is up between 7 AM and 6PM, that leaves 8 hours per day to handle school. Even cutting that in half is plenty of time for school work. And Saturday and Sunday she will have no class work to interfere with that. And trust me on this, need something done, ask someone who is busy.

She may have to forego TV, the internet, dating, the gym and/or sleep but she can squeeze it all in. It's all about priorities. And figuring it out. Fast.

thetalady 09-08-2017 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMom2 (Post 2440929)
She's taking 15 hours. And no, step show is not required. She tried out for it (a 4 hour audition) and she was so excited to make it! It was competitive.

I don't understand why this optional step show is even on the table. it is WAYYYY down the list of priorities and will take up a lot of her time. I understand it is fun, she was excited to be chosen, etc. Doesn't sound like she has the time for it right now. It is time for her to start learning to prioritize what is important.


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