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-   -   Deactivated (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=161052)

msmay 09-03-2015 06:01 PM

Deactivated
 
I wish to discontinue this thread.

Cheerio 09-03-2015 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msmay (Post 2333461)
Hi,

Has anyone else on here ever been deactivated from a sorority or fraternity? Just wondering if anyone had a similar story.

What's your story?

thetalady 09-03-2015 09:41 PM

Do you mean had your membership terminated or had your "pin pulled"? Probably not going to find anyone in that situation here.

thetalady 09-17-2015 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msmay (Post 2352421)
Hello,

I was in a social sorority back in my undergraduate days (some twenty-some years ago), but it was not for me. Frankly, I was surprised by the pettiness, and do not wish to repeat such an experience today because I've discovered what I truly want is an authentic, multicultural sorority that is much more than a social undergraduate thing based on partying and fraternities, but an organization that connects women who seek social justice.

msmay

Am I missing your point? I don't understand how your reply addresses the topic. ..

DeltaBetaBaby 09-17-2015 02:22 PM

She wants to be free to join another group although she was initiated into her first one.

carnation 09-17-2015 02:33 PM

msmay, when you pmed me asking about someone who could help you with becoming a PNAM, I thought you wanted information about NPCs. The member I referred you to is in an NPC group and probably can't help you with any of the others. The track to that is different.

AZTheta 09-17-2015 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady (Post 2352422)
Am I missing your point? I don't understand how your reply addresses the topic. ..

She is not going to address any further questions about her undergrad experience. There's been some editing and deleting, and that subject is finished. Trust me on this.

She's seeking info on membership in a NON-NPC group now. That is a whole different area and not something with which I can offer any help. msmay, perhaps you can contact the headquarters of the group(s) you are interested in, and they will be able to help you.

msmay 09-17-2015 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta (Post 2352427)
She is not going to address any further questions about her undergrad experience. There's been some editing and deleting, and that subject is finished. Trust me on this.

She's seeking info on membership in a NON-NPC group now. That is a whole different area and not something with which I can offer any help. msmay, perhaps you can contact the headquarters of the group(s) you are interested in, and they will be able to help you.

Thank you, AZTheta! I so appreciate your help.

msmay 10-01-2015 05:01 PM

To clarify matters for all, I was deactivated from a sorority due to my own poor choices and I'm deeply sorry about my behavior. I've been seeking reinstatement for over twenty years because I want to share who I am today, not the girl I once was. I was socially inept in college and self-medicated to deal with the extreme social anxiety. Of course, this is only my side of the story. Greek life in this house obviously was not the right choice for me, especially the partying, social part; regardless, I still long for forgiveness from my former sisters and seek fellowship in a GLO now that I'm mature enough to appreciate it, but that ship has sailed.

33girl 10-01-2015 09:49 PM

Have you reached out to your chapter sisters on Facebook and attempted to tell them what you just told us? Even if you cannot be formally reinstated into the national organization, you might be able to mend fences with the women you knew in college. You never know until you try.

msmay 10-02-2015 08:58 AM

Yes, I did exactly that and a handful of them helped me appeal, but I was still denied by the sorority national office. I remain friends with a couple of them and it's been a healing experience and blessing to have them in my life. As mentioned, I deeply regret my choices as an undergraduate (I wish I could write my story so young women would know what NOT to do) and still have post traumatic stress disorder from the whole experience, which has manifested itself in twenty-some years of nightmares and a strong sense of guilt. My ultimate dream is to be reinstated, even if I'm a little old lady by then; with irony and deep sadness I must say that I (much belatedly) love and respect my sorority ideals now that I'm an adult, even though I did not do so when I was a girl and this experience will be with me for the rest of my days.

33girl 10-02-2015 10:43 AM

You have forgiveness from your chapter sisters, who were the ones who you directly wronged or brought complication into their lives. In my opinion, that is a WAY bigger deal than being nationally reinstated. It may be that this is just something that in your org there is no wavering from and it's not personal.

The most freeing thing on earth is to simply say "I was wrong" and move on. I hope you can find peace and enjoy the renewed fellowship you've found.

LIXO 10-02-2015 12:13 PM

^^^^^ This

So even though you are not a current member, it sounds like the sorority and it's ideals had a positive influence in your life. Consider yourself blessed and focus on the future.

msmay 10-24-2017 07:27 PM

Despite everything that happened, I do think that my sorority really helped me in terms of study skills and organization, in particular. I appreciated so many of the traditions, but I just don't think this particular house was a good fit for me. It was a great house for those who did feel comfortable there, but I don't think it was right for me. Obviously, I was deactivated. My advice to anyone considering Greek Rush would be to take this whole process VERY seriously and search your heart about which house would be the best for you, not what other people want, what others have suggested, what the "best house" is, etc.

Sororitysock 10-24-2017 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msmay (Post 2445507)
Despite everything that happened, I do think that my sorority really helped me in terms of study skills and organization, in particular. I appreciated so many of the traditions, but I just don't think this particular house was a good fit for me. It was a great house for those who did feel comfortable there, but I don't think it was right for me. Obviously, I was deactivated. My advice to anyone considering Greek Rush would be to take this whole process VERY seriously and search your heart about which house would be the best for you, not what other people want, what others have suggested, what the "best house" is, etc.

You don't seem to be able to let this go. Have you tried talking to a professional?


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