my very disorganized chapter
Thank you everyone!
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Have you not been able to engage with sisters by phone or in person in lieu of being dependent on Facebook or other website? Have you not spoken with the chapter advisor?
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I don't even pretend to understand many of the characteristics/aspects of sorority life in the USA. But I simply can't comprehend one of the statements in your post: a member of your chapter has to have a certain number of "points" before being eligible to attend the chapter's formal??? Is this for real? If one is an active member of a chapter, how can she (or he, if it were a fraternity) be precluded from attending the chapter's formal, or any other chapter event?
Is this "points" requirement unique to this particular chapter or sorority, or is it actually commonplace or at least not unheard of at other chapters/schools? It seems like sheer nonsense to me. I would think that if a chapter did have a "point" system, which strikes me as totally ridiculous, attending formal would be one way to accumulate those points. Why, then, would the chapter tell a member that she could not attend because she was deficient in points? It seems contradictory and self-defeating. Why anyone would even want to attend her chapter's formal if she were being told she did not have enough "points" to attend is an entirely different question, and equally perplexing to me. |
@stufield - Stay in your lane.
@SKflat - You may want to email nationals to ask about your status as far as they're concerned. This part "they keep telling me they have to hear back from nationals before I can have an account and they will contact me." makes me wonder if your new chapter has properly filed the paperwork to make you an active again. Also, if you haven't been paying and they haven't pulled you into Standards to discuss lack of payment, another flag that they may not have activated your membership. Reach out to your VP Finance and her advisor. They should be able to tell you what you have signed regarding membership fees. |
Points for formal is very commonplace. It's to weed out the people who just joined a sorority for the fun stuff (formals and mixers) and want to blow off the business and work stuff (meetings, ritual, philanthropy). It's usually set low enough that unless you're a complete slacker you can make the amount.
Which leads me to...OP, did you not have ANY interaction with sisters outside of chapter meetings? Didn't anyone ever mention events to you or ask if you were going? How large is this chapter? Did you try contacting nationals yourself? |
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This was not a "stay in your lane" situation. This was a "how does that work? I'll explain it to you" situation. |
^^^ Well, he expressed quite critical opinions, before getting an answer, so it went beyond just a question. I can see why he got a negative response.
I think points systems are extremely commonplace, just as 33girl says. We had them back in the day and we used them for room selection ranking. The chapter I advise has them, my daughter's chapter uses them -- I would guess that the vast majority of sorority chapters use some type of points system. I think they've gotten more detailed and intricate over the years. We just used them for room selection order, but they seem to have gotten more involved. Probably too involved in some cases. |
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FYI - SKFlat's username is in reference to her initials, not her affiliation ;) Good advise regardless though. I agree |
FWIW,I thought the incredulity of the post was rude enough for the stay in your lane comment. A question as an aside might have said something like "I am not a member of an American NPC sorority. Is this kind of points system common?" would have been answered minus any snark. Because it is absolutely common. NPC sorority membership isn't for amateurs. If you want to play you have to put in the work.
To the OP, I hope you can work it out. This is an example that headquarters can't just come in, blast out a colony and then hit the road. The chapter will need a lot of hand holding for at least a couple years. My guess is protocol wasn't followed to get you officially on the books and they're just expecting headquarters to know and respond accordingly. Before you give up definitely use your resources to work it out. |
"Stay in your lane" comments usually are for NPC vs. NPHC vs. NIC vs. NMGC specific issues, and in those situations I have no problem with it.
The point system, although stufield might not been aware of it, is often used in chapters across the spectrum. It is not a situation specific to any one group. |
Let me get this straight: because I was incredulous, never having heard of a point system before, and because I dared express the opinion that it strikes me as nonsense, I was rude and deserve a "stay in your lane" comment. Unreal! Thanks Lane Sig. You, at least, seem to comprehend where I was coming from.
Thanks to those of you who took the time to explain the rationale behind the system, and to advise that such a system is relatively commonplace and has been around for years. |
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Have a great day! :) |
If you would have said "points system? Wow, sororities and fraternities sure do work differently" that would have been fine.
But rattling off words/phrases like "is this for real?" "sheer nonsense" and "totally ridiculous" is rude. It's like telling NPHC chapters they are being silly not to take bigger pledge classes because then they could all get houses. Or better yet, like a sorority woman saying that men who haven't visited all their school's fraternities during rush must be narrow minded and obviously won't make good members. |
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