I'm a big believer in fate, so I really do think everyone ends up where they're meant to be. And for some girls, even the pretty, popular homecoming queens, that may mean they weren't meant to be in a sorority.

When I think back about college, its as if different pieces of a puzzle just fell together. I was not at all interested in joining a sorority in high school and was actually looking for campuses where there was no greek system. But at the last minute I decided to go to Oregon. I didn't do fall rush because I was still pretty anti-greek, but a friend of mine begged me to go through spring rush with her. I had no intention of joining a house but I ended up falling in love with two chapters.

When I joined Sigma Kappa, the other girls in my rush group wanted to know why I joined "that" house. It wasn't a bad chapter, but they were a little smaller and they just weren't as popular. But it was definitely where I was the most comfortable. I had opportunities in Sigma Kappa that I don't think I would have had in the bigger chapters. I gained a lot of leadership experience and I also gained confidence. I also got my first post-college job because of one of my sorority sisters. So yeah, I think it was meant to be.

My Turn
 

I'm a huge believer in fate and everything, but from my personal experience fate and I haven't been on the same page. I went through formal my freshman year as the worst PNM! No joke! I was cocky, rude, and stuck up! No wonder why 6 out of the 7 sororities dropped me! However, I ended up dropping out of formal because I didn't want to be in the "nerdy sorority." Yes, the only local sorority at Kent State was either considered non-existent or nerdy.

I went through informal for 5 out of the 7 sororities. Some of which, I understood why I didn't a bid (we weren't really "feeling" each other), but I had my heart set on ABC- especially when they did their pref ceremony during informal and I about bawled! I felt so welcome and at home! Turns out I didn't get a bid and I was crushed.

I knew the local sorority still wanted me so I went through their informal looking for letters (note: still a cocky freshman) and got a bid. I poured my heart into the sorority only to quit a year later and see the chapter fold.

Now, I know I don't have the time or money to be in a sorority and yet I want to so badly! I know which sororities on my campus I would like to be in, if everything else in my life fell into place, and I started to consider bringing in another national that I admire. Currently, I feel stuck between my priorities and my personal wants. So unless fate wants me to do AI, I am just another wanna-be putting in my 2 cents every once in awhile on GreekChat.

I too am a believer that you will end up where you should be. I went through recruitment as a sophomore, so I knew all the stories and all the reputations of the 11 houses on my campus. I went in with my heart set on ABC, and wanted nothing to do with ADPi (it seems crazy for me to say that now). ADPi was the last house I went to on the first day, and it made me feel good that the girls were still so excited to meet me after a VERY logn day and 10 other parties full of 60+ PNMs. I was broken hearted when I got cut from ABC, but I still had ADPi, and as much as I didn't want to admit it at the time, I felt very at home there. I had one member who made sure to talk to me every day, and she really made me see that I should give it a try. I knew that if I didn't, I would always wonder. By that time I had decided that being GREEK was more important to me than anything. I pledged, and it took no time at all for me to realize that it really was where I belonged. I love ADPi and I have my sorority to thank for so much- including the best friends I could ever have.

There is alot that we don't think about when we go through recruitment. I do think that girls will end up where they are meant to be, even if that may not be their first choice.

I tell people that I may not have ended up where I thought I would, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be. :)

I believe that you'll end up where you are meant to be. I was absolutely crushed when I was cut from my mom's sorority, and considered dropping out of recruitment because I had been cut from my 2nd and 3rd choices as well. When I pledged, I was a bit uncertain, but I would not change a single thing about pledging Alpha Xi. I really understand the quote "it's not what you've become, it's what you've always been," especially after going through recruitment from "the other side" and looking at all the rituals and symphony and ideals of AZD. I have matured, but the ideals that my parents gave me for my life are all reflected in my sorority.

I'm a believer in ending up where you were meant to be. This might be a bit long:

Freshman year I wanted to be Greek, but didn't know which sorority I wanted to be in. I decided to rush, but I dropped after first round, figuring that all those sororities were all " just a bunch of stuck up white girls" who wanted nothing to do with a Black girl.

I chose to focus on other things for most of that year. I did become a sister of the Kappa Phi Club for Christian women soon after school started. It was great. Fun and fellowship with other young Christian women.

Sophomore year I still wanted to be Greek. I kept my grades up and pursued an org I liked- XYZ. They were awesome, although I secretly wondered whether I'd fit in there.

In the winter of that year, things happened and I decided not to pursue XYZ anymore. I always wondered whether some of XYZ's practices went against my religious beliefs. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't pursue them any further b/c it was later confirmed that things were going on over @ XYZ that I wouldn't have agreed with if I'd decided to pursue them further.

Fast forward to Spring of this year. I still really wanted to be Greek, but now I really wasn't sure what sorority I wanted. It was in the middle of COB time where all the other sororities have their informal rush. I saw Sigma's ad in the Greek Beats section of the paper. I was hesitant, but after some encouragement by a few of my Kappa Phi sisters I went to my 1st event......for the rest of the story see Greekchat's Spring 2004 rush thread :)

I'm glad I made the choice I did. I really believe this is what was meant for me. :)

At Bama, it's all about being in certain houses that are ABLE to win Homecoming Queen...it cycles through every 12 years or so that a girl from a certain chapter in this group will win Homecoming Queen.

I got cut from "ABC" the first round, and ended up in Kappa... I couldn't be happier! Though it took my Rho Gamma lots of convincing mid-week just to get me to stay in recruitment, lol.

while some may believe in
 

the fickle finger of fate, and others may not, the gist of this post is to advise us NOT to tell pnms what we believe in (or don't). do we honestly believe that by answering a devastated pnm poster, who was not invited back to a single party, with a "well, it was meant to be", that that is going to make her feel better? a more compassionate post would be "oh, i am so sorry." short & sweet.
it is all that needs to be said, and will not leave a pnm feeling worse than she already does. Lisa

ps: thanks to whomever revived this thread. as recruitment fast approaches, we need these reminders.

I'm quoting this because James hit the nail on the head back then...let's remember that this thread was started in January 2002...

just had to say something...
 

I know some people think it's bad to tell PNM's that they'll end up where they were meant to be, but I think it's what they need to hear. I got cut from every single house last semester, and while I was at first disappointed, I realized that I wasn't ready at the time to be in a sorority. I had some more soul-searching (and studying!) to do. I'm rushing again, and if I get cut again from every group, I'll come to my senses and realize that maybe Greek life isn't the life for me.

I'm not insulting Greeks at all, but getting into sorority isn't the be-all end-all for enjoying my college experience--(just something that I hope will be rewarding for me). I would love to get a bid, but if I don't, I won't be bitter about it and I'll even stay friendly and cordial to all the sisters I met. There's no reason to hold grudges against them. I just wasn't meant to be in a sorority with them, that's all.

Even if a PNM gets a bid from a sorority she hated, she'll eventually realize it and either drop out or work her hardest to make that GLO her home. So it all does work out in the end even if you didn't see it in the beginning.

I might be missing the point here, but that's what I've learned from being a rush reject. I got cut for a reason, and that's OK.

When a door closes, a window opens.

That's the bottom line of this long-winded post.

Things have a way of working themselves out. Greek Life isn't for everyone, but life goes on. Enjoy recruitment week, and just promise yourself that you're going to take this year at college to really embrace the school-- do well in your studies and get involved on campus. If that means Greek Life, great. But there are at least 100 other wonderful clubs and organizations where you would also be a great fit. And the best part is-- you can be part of multiple groups, if you choose-- Greek Life, student gov't, Chocolate Club, Sushi Club, Intramural Softball, Pre-Med Society, Golden Key Scholars-- this is your college experience! So get out there and experience it!

I had a totally different experience than most-
I could have gone to the top sorority at my school (when you think of homecoming queen, most popular, etc). I had an "in" if you will... but I straight up told them I didn't want to be there. I wasn't comfortable, and they were not my home.
The only sorority other than Alpha Gam that I considered was KD. They were the largest chapter on our campus and considered the best overall chapter. Good grades, very involved, sweet and fun to be around. Thankfully they cut me before pref. I liked them, but in the end I chose one of the two smallest houses to go to. I loved Alpha Gam and the women I met there.
I knew I could have gone ABC and be in a sorority considered one of the best and hardest to get in to, but I didn't want that.
I wanted Alpha Gam.
Even years later I have friends that asked why I cut ABC and I told them because my heart would never have been there and I would have quit after joining.
My heart and my home were with AGD all along.

Was it one of the "top"houses? Nope.
Did I care?
Nope!
In the end I know that I am an intelligent, decent human with a lot to offer a sisterhood. I don't care if people thought I joined a smaller, or not as good, house. I had opportunities most people never get and I still remain very close to my chapter and my sisters- something I know most of the women in other sororities don't do.

In my mind I wasn't joining just THETA IOTA I was joining an international sisterhood. College is too short a period in life to fret over being in the "right" house.
I can't believe that there are even adult women with children that would fret over that knowing that college is so quick and over so fast, at least let the women going through rush be happy.

its not so much being in the right house
 

but being in the house that is right for you!! obviously, you based your decision on what was right for you and that is wonderful. one of my very best friends at fsu was an alpha gam, and alpha gam was the right choice for her too. beth could have joined zeta, but her heart was with agd. i could have joined agd, but my heart was with zta. did it diminish our brand new friendship?no. different folks have different criteria. that's life.

i don't think that most pnms are going thru recruitment looking at the "big picture." they are concentrating on the chapters on their campus.

and as for mothers wanting their children in certain houses, i would LOVE for my high school daughter to pledge zta when she goes off to college. but i am smart enough to realize that she will have to make her own decision based on her own criteria. and if i choose to post her recruitment experience, and your sorority has a chapter on that campus, i hope that you all will not be insulted if my daughter does not choose to join that chapter, just as i will not be insulted if she doesn't choose zta.

Originally posted by James
"You'll end up where you were meant to be . . ."

When I read that it sounds either amazingly fatalistic or terifically condscending.

If the relationship was meant to work out it would have or will . . despite what we do . . .

Well gee, if you got cut from every house except the one that no one wants to join, you must be meant to be with them!

Destiny or a perfect match!

I hope no one actually tells people this to reassure them. It would be pretty evil.
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I'm quoting this because James hit the nail on the head back then...let's remember that this thread was started in January 2002...

I just reread this and I have to disagree, with both James and Carnation.
If a person gets cut from all the houses but one- i am not saying that it means they are meant to be "with that one" but rather lets say what is THE TRUTH-
all the other houses didn't want you to be a sister badly enough to ensure it and thus the one house that DID want you around enough to make sure you were invited and/or returned might be worth looking into.

Just another perspective.

How could you disagree with me? :eek: