A lady that I know is a 60-year-plus member of her GLO. A few years ago she told me that she was sorry that she joined ABC because after she graduated, she was not invited to join certain organizations. She felt certain that it was because she was an ABC and the women in charge of the organizations were XYZs.

When her daughters and granddaughters rushed, she never even mentioned that she was an ABC even though there were chapters at those schools. She was so proud when her girls joined the "right" houses and that one granddaughter was an XYZ. According to her, that XYZ pin opened the gates of heaven for the girl. She was invited to join all the organizations that her she "couldn't" and that she was very proud that her ABC legacy status didn't taint her. I sat there stunned and then I told her that I was sorry that she felt that way. I also told her that I belonged to a couple of her "dream" organizations and that I knew for a fact that there were many ABCs who were quite involved. One ABC was even president! She didn't know what to say. Some things do change over 50 years.

TriDeltaSallie, look up Prudence Mackintosh's books on Amazon or Alibris. They're full of fantastic information on Southern women and how they filter into various groups, plus they're hysterical! Prudence Mackintosh went KKG at Texas and raised 3 sons in Highland Park.

Unfortunately, the casting of Ally Sheedy as said Mary Sue in the movie completely defeated the point. They needed to wait till Reese Witherspoon was old enough to play the part.

I was going to say that I think a lot of this is like families who always sent their sons to Groton & Harvard (and who then joined Porcellian while they were there) but I honestly think those places have become more de-homogenized than the institutions we're talking about. I could be wrong.

Eh, IF wife and husband are from simiar social circles -- and here we seem to be talking mainly about the South, and, frankly, the Old Money, Fine Old Family portion of the upper middle / upper class -- similar social circles in Otherville WILL know what the "top" and the "acceptable" GLOs are at a variety of campuses. That is, they'll know, even if most of them are XYZs from U of Whatsis, that DEF is "top" or "good" at Dixie-Davis U. (And they'll know the "rank" of XYZ at Dixie-Davis, too.)

You know, it is just so blamed difficult to explain all this to a non-southerner since we grew up with it. Some things you just "know"...and I don't mean to sound snobby here...it's just reality. Southerners are just more "connected" I think...

why do people have all this TIME on their hands to keep up with this?

This is true of present-day sororities, too.

LOL.

Let the record show that this isn't about Southerner vs. nonSoutherner or any other dichotomy. There are just people who really think that certain traditions and types of upbringing are wonderful, but to specifically prepare a child for Greekdom (versus it simply being a trickle down effect, as someone said earlier) is strange.

And as a non-southerner I feel both that it is really cool and really sad. The part of me that values family, tradition and community thinks it is an incredibly special blessing to be so connected to them. And there is another part of me that just finds it sad that someone's whole life is basically planned out for them before birth.

I truly don't mean that as a slam. But for someone outside of the south, it really is both fascinating and hard to comprehend. It's hard to imagine going to school and camp and college and socializing with the same group of people my entire life. I think of college as a time to meet new people and explore new opportunities. To have life so mapped out at such a young age just seems to somehow miss some of the joy of the unexpected and new. I think the part of me that likes new challenges and opportunities to explore would find the structure to be incredibly confining.

Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone reading this. It is just a completely different way of looking at life that I find truly fascinating. :)

Heh, this is covered in "Heartbreak Hotel," too...Mary Sue goes to visit the aristocratic family of her (alcoholic) big-shot fiance in the Mississippi Delta, and even though she's from Georgia, and they go to school in Alabama, the quality people in Mississippi know that her chapter makes the grade.
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I missed this book. It sounds like a must read. Wow! Life imitates art or is it the other way around?

I wish you had told my mother and aunt all this.

Heartbreak Hotel is by Anne Rivers Siddons, an Auburn Tri Delt. It was based in the fifties but since I only saw the movie when it came out years ago, I don't remember if the movie was true to that. The book is fabulous!

I also like to read the City Data forums about the South and there are a lot of similiarities to this thread. Northerners who move to the Carolinas, etc., are so confused; they just don't understand the South has it's own, different culture.