Mom Wanting To Rush
 

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Do you think you'll have time for Greek life with 2 children? A sorority is unlikely to excuse you because you have to do child-related things.

If that means “just tell me what I want to hear and only positive things” I’m sorry, but you have come to the wrong place.

SEC schools are extremely traditional and 19 year old sophomores often have a problem getting a bid. To say you have an uphill battle would be putting it mildly.

To add, I am a legacy and have multiple references for most of the sororities there. With my class schedule, they will be with family, my boyfriend, or our sitter. Getting into medical school requires a lot of extracurricular activities and I am very passionate about some of these sororities philanthropies as I have either experienced it first hand or it correlates with what I want to do in medicine. For example, working with children who are fighting cancer.

Not at all! I definitely am coming into this with an open mind. I am a legacy for two specific ones and I have references for about 8 of the 12 sororities they have there. Do you think that could be beneficial? I am very passionate about some of the philanthropies and would be very thankful to contribute to charity work and the volunteering that goes on.

You asking for advice?

Sign up and go to Open House rounds. Get it out of your system.

Not sure of your intentions, because it sounds like you’re looking to bump your resume for med school applications. That’s how it comes across to me.

I’m skeptical. Tattoos, divorced, a 4.0, two kids. Not a lot that you’re bringing to the SEC sorority table, but you already know that, correct?

Oh, when you post on an Internet forum, you can’t tell people how to respond. Go ask on reddit ( if you haven’t already). FWIW your legacy status and recommendations are something that multiple PNMs also bring to SEC recruitment. Again, you knew that already, right?

Divorced due to domestic violence unfortunately. I also am new to the area so I would appreciate making lifelong friendships. Thank you for being super honest!!!

Look, First Corinthians 13 comes to mind. “Put away childish things” to be specific. Come on. You have two children. Where are your priorities? You can get involved in philanthropy without being in a sorority. Ditto for making lifelong friendships.

What exactly are you trying to do here? You know you have nothing in common with the vast majority of PNMs (or actives) at any SEC school and you don’t need Greek letters for med school.

Okay I am done. Good luck, and I write that sincerely.

I know a few girls that are married and have children that are in chapters at an SEC school. Plus, there is huge family pressure to follow a tradition. There is a big part of me that wants to try because that's just who I am. Again, thank you. I really like your honesty.

I agree with everything already written and have one other thought for the OP:

What will the members have in common with you? You're divorced, have kids, and are older than the average pledge or member. Even if you were single, I'd say your odds of getting a bid at 23 were very low because there's not a lot in common between 18-22 year olds and a 23 year old, especially when you've experienced so much more life than they've even started to live.

You say you want to make life-long friends - those come from spending hours with your sisters, partly during activities and partly from hanging out. Are you aware of the time demands a sorority puts on its members? It is enormous and requires night-time and weekend commitments...so I'm truly curious how you will juggle that along with classes and family.

Married women with kids as actives in SEC chapters? I don't think so.

I am not going to blow any sunshine up your lab coat. I will answer assuming that this is not a troll. The sorority ship has sailed. Your plate is full already.

There are plenty of extra-curricular activities on every SEC campus to keep you busy that do not require attending mixers and swaps with fraternities, working all night on homecoming floats and attending numerous required meetings and events. You have more important things to do with your time, like raising your children. Whatever free time you have should be devoted to them.

I'm pretty sure this is a troll post, but I'll be frank just in case. It's not going to happen for you. Recommendations for each sorority at your school are basic requirements. They will not make you stand out. Everyone has them. Legacies abound; some chapters have enough legacies to fill an entire pledge class. This is a school with a very traditional Greek life and where prior connections are everything when it comes to receiving a bid.

But ask yourself, why in the world would you want to be hanging out with 18 and 19 year old single childless young women whose biggest concerns are schoolwork and who their formal date will be? What would you do if you have two babies home with chicken pox and need to be at a mandatory sorority event and have a major exam that week? I find it hard to believe that adults in your family would put pressure on you to join a sorority when you have so many far more important commitments in your young life.

A sorority isn't going to pad your resume for medical school admission. It's insulting that you'd even say that's a reason you want to join. There are literally dozens of other campus organizations that will require far less time and commitment, but will further your interest in medicine. Get involved with some of them.

Good luck to you in your studies and with your family.

All these questions and another- what about the live in requirement? How are you going to live in the house with children, etc? And I have to say also that your wanting to be in a sorority to pad your resume is extremely insulting. Also the members of those 12 groups check this website and you will definitely be on many a "no" list a a result.

QFP

I call foul on the several active members who are married with children at SEC schools. Many sororities have a requirement that their active collegiate members be single. If a member marries before graduating (and is in good standing) she is usually granted alumna status.

There will be myriad campus professional orgs and other career oriented orgs that will enhance your resume'. These orgs will not care that you are older, tattooed,divorced, and a mom. These orgs will not require large chunks of time-work week, rush week, initiation week, etc. There will most likely be some atypical students such as yourself who are members in the pro and career orgs. You will have much more in common with them than you would with 18 year old pledges. And philanthropic work that closely aligns with your career plans will be more helpful for you.

If you were at a non-SEC school where Greek life isn't as prevalent on campus, you might have a chance. The time commitment would be less and with no requirement to live in the house - if there even is a house - you could be at home with your kids without needing an exception. A smaller chapter with some other non-traditional students would potentially welcome you with open arms.

But SEC? That's a different animal. If you go through recruitment, I wish you luck, but I would be shocked if you received a bid. I'd be even more surprised if you could juggle your personal life, professional life, student life, and sorority life all at the same time.

As others here have said, there are many other organizations on campus with less of a time commitment that will actually boost your resume and help you in your pursuit of a medical degree. I would urge you to look into those instead.

QFP

I have been mulling over the info you shared about being a legacy to two sororities. It would seem to me that your relatives would have told you that your chances of receiving a bid were little to none.

Coming out from lurking just to say.

Lololololololololololol.

I enjoyed the trolling, though.

THANK YOU< CARNATION!!!!

what about Junior League? I am a sorority alumna, but found a similar sisterhood aspect and philanthropy by joining my local Junior League chapter.

You may not have the ritual aspect, but there's a reason Junior League was coined "post-grad sorority" in my area.

It could be that the OP's relatives went to schools where recruitment is far less competitive than at SEC schools. Heck, my chapter bid a senior once - think that'd happen at an SEC school?

Anyway, to the OP: From what I know of SEC recruitment, I'd say your chances are between slim and none, and Slim just left town. You're a sophomore (strike one) and 23 (strike two). As soon as the sisters find out you have two little children (and they will), you're outta there.

As a 23-year-old, would you really feel comfortable answering to an executive board made up of 19/20/21 year olds? For example, during recruitment, the recruitment chair is basically God - she says jump, you say how high.

Also, pre-med is a pretty tough major which will require a lot of time and energy. Children also require a lot of time and energy, especially if you're a single mom. They should be your top priorities. Being in a sorority is also a big time commitment, with mandatory chapter meetings, mandatory new member meetings while you're a NM, mandatory attendance at all work week and recruitment events, etc.

There are plenty of other activities you can get involved with, but I'm afraid the sorority ship has sailed.

The part about “huge pressure to follow a family tradition” throws a wrench into that concept.

^ I didn't see the original post, only Titchou's QFP - was it incomplete?

It's still not impossible. You could have a mom who joined XYZ at Tiny Northeast U. where rush is not very competitive, who has a daughter who is going to an SEC school, and mom wants her daughter to have a great sorority experience like she did, so she puts a lot of pressure on her to rush, but she genuinely has no clue that SEC rush tends to be super competitive. Unlikely, but not impossible.

Thanks to Carnation, the story is here complete through QFPs :)

True but I can't imagine any mom thinking that a single mom with kids and studying pre-med would remotely have any time for membership even if things were way different back in the day, hence I can't imagine the pressure. Perhaps the pressure came before the daughter married/had kids, i.e., when she was a high school senior so the daughter might still feel like she needs to "deliver" on her mom's wishes.

Lol.... picking apart one piece of this response for local LOLs..... was the senior you bid almost 18 years old? hahahahah Oh, MIT.

That's so funny I forgot to laugh. :rolleyes:

Not that it's any of your business, but she was 20, she was impressive, we liked her, and we were under total so there was nothing preventing us from offering her a bid.

My chapter has also offered two bids to seniors (that I know of). One lived in an apartment with three sisters, and she was friends with basically the entire chapter, we were under total, so why not? The other was also good friends with a handful of the sisters and emphasized how much she wanted to stay involved after graduation. She ultimately helped found our Erie PA alumnae chapter.

It happens.

At age 23, our girls were attending med school. They had accomplished all of the activities, research, teaching under grads, etc. Some of this was due to their sorority membership. However, most of this involvement was not. I would not recommend rush for you at your age and stage...saying this in the most respectful way.
Best of luck.

If not a troll -- I am trying to imagine how a medical school admissions board would view your taking away time from your young children to spend socializing with 19 year-olds. How do you think they would react?

Instead, I suggest that you spend the time with your kids and spend your money on a good MCAT review course, if you are really serious about medical school.

My sister and her husband are both doctors and they both served on the exec boards of their Big 10/SEC Greek organizations in college. I've never once heard them say anything about their membership playing any role whatsoever in the medical school admissions process. Join a science-related honor society, volunteer at a hospital, study for the MCAT, etc.

The only connection my sister has ever mentioned is that residency matching is EXACTLY like bid matching...you list your ranked choices, the hospitals submit their ranked lists, there's a computerized ranking and matching system, and you are informed where you're placed. I guess the only difference is that no one drops because they "didn't like their hospital/house" so they'll try again next year for better results. By that age, people have learned that doesn't work.

Ewwwwww-I keep trying to drop Mercy Hospital, but they keep showing up on my list! I hate them!

The nurses and doctors at New York General were all really nice, but their scrubs were ugly and the protocol they used was LAME!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

And worst of all, their philanthropy was helping sick people and that's just icky!

THIS. Is exactly right. When my Son in law asked me if I understood the Match process, I said yes, it is just like sorority recruitment. He then asked me to explain it to his non Greek mother. Not certain that she ever got it, she wanted her son and my daughter to go to a particular place in Florida which they had little interest in for their specialties.

They prevailed, couples matched to their first choice in another state. Match Day is like Bid Day on steroids!

You all crack me up!

So,so true!

Not to mention, they have a religious affiliation that differs from my own, so obviously this would be a bad fit.